The EAGLE and the CHICKEN

Be careful who you listen to!



Once upon a time, an old farmer found an eagle's egg. Because he didn't know where it had come from, yet he wanted the bird to have a chance at life, he placed it into the nest of one of his chickens.
The eagle hatched along with the other chickens. He learned to scratch for worms and to flap a few feet of the ground.

One day, the young eagle looked up and saw a magestic, older eagle soaring high in the sky. Captivated, he asked one of the older chickens:

"Who is that beautiful bird?"
"That is the eagle, the king of birds," replied his chicken-friend. "They dominate the sky, while we chickens live on earth."

The young eagle proceeded to live the rest of his life as a chicken, for that's what everyone led him to believe he was.

THE PORCUPINE

A fable about emotional boundaries
Reposted from http://www.extension.iastate.edu/mt/civility/2008/03/

“Porcupines huddled together for warmth on a cold day; but as they began to prick one another with their quills, they were obliged to disperse. However the cold drove them together again, when just the same thing happened. At last, after many turns of huddling and dispersing, they discovered that they would be best off by remaining at a little distance from one another.

“In the same way, the need of society drives the human porcupines together--only to be mutually repelled by the many prickly and disagreeable qualities of their nature. The moderate distance which they at last discover to be the only tolerable condition of intercourse, is the code of politeness and fine manners; and those who transgress it are roughly told—in the English phrase—to keep their distance.

“By this arrangement the mutual need of warmth is only very moderately satisfied--but then people do not get pricked. A man who has some heat in himself prefers to remain outside, where he will neither prick other people nor get pricked himself.”

--The Essays of Arthur Schopenhauer; Counsels and Maxims by Arthur Schopenhauer, German philosopher (1788-1860)

The next time you think of emotional boundaries, think of porcupines.

Change Alone is Unchanging

- Greek Philosopher Heraclitus


We frequently mistake the present for permanent. Yet, life is not solid. “Nothing I have is really mine,” signs pop diva Dido. The universe lends us things. Our bodies, our houses, our cars, our jobs, even the people we love—all are borrowed. Everything we have today we’ll one day have to return to the universe, our lives and bodies included. Ignoring or fighting against this fact only causes suffering. It doesn’t alter the reality of change.

Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön explains: “We are like children building a sand castle. We embellish it with colored shells, bits of driftwood, and pieces of glass. The castle is ours, off limits to others. We’re willing to attack if others threaten to hurt it. Yet despite all our attachment, we know that the tide will inevitably come in and sweep the sand castle away. The trick is to enjoy it fully but without clinging, and when the time comes, let it dissolve back into the sea.”

It’s this misunderstanding of impermanence that causes us to cling to that which gives us a false sense of stability. Holding on to Ego, to negative self-statements, to ways of misperceiving the world and even to relationships or phases of life; each of these processes is a strategy we use to prevent the groundless feeling associated with change. But all things are in a constant cycle of becoming. We can’t immobilize or freeze reality. We suffer because we believe we can prevent impermanence. If only we could try hard enough, we think, we could avoid loss, sadness, and change. This is absolutely not the case.

The ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus founded a way of thinking based on change. “No man ever steps in the same river twice,” wrote Heraclitus. “For it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” Accepting impermanence and, therefore change, is at the very root of the warrior’s way of living. It is the final lesson in learning to let go.

UNBENDING INTENTION

Re-posted from Arno Ilgner's Rock Climbing Blog
http://warriorsway.com/intention/

In order to create the most powerful effort, you must have your attention fully in the present moment. What motivates you and how you set your intentions will determine what happens to your attention. We’ve discussed earlier how motivation must be grounded primarily in process goals that allow us to grow, and secondarily in end goals.

Aligning goals this way maintains motivation when you are under maximum stress. Once you’ve established effective motivation, you can begin to set effective intentions.-As we said earlier, intention is attention focused in the direction of a choice or decision. In any climbing situation, you will have both end-result intentions and process intentions. Your end-result intention involves attaining an end goal, such as achieving a redpoint or arriving at the next decision point.

End-result intentions are part of the process, but you cannot act on them. You need intentions your body can act out. Process intentions might include continuous breathing and moving through the next section, giving focused effort to each move, and not allowing your resolve to waver.In order to create the most powerful effort, you must have your attention fully in the present moment. What motivates you and how you set your intentions will determine what happens to your attention.

We’ve discussed earlier how motivation must be grounded primarily in process goals that allow us to grow, and secondarily in end goals. Aligning goals this way maintains motivation when you are under maximum stress. Once you’ve established effective motivation, you can begin to set effective intentions.

-

As we said earlier, intention is attention focused in the direction of a choice or decision. In any climbing situation, you will have both end-result intentions and process intentions. Your end-result intention involves attaining an end goal, such as achieving a redpoint or arriving at the next decision point.

End-result intentions are part of the process, but you cannot act on them. You need intentions your body can act out. Process intentions might include continuous breathing and moving through the next section, giving focused effort to each move, and not allowing your resolve to waver.

MAKE PEACE AND MOVE ON

You cannot face life, and you cannot face the ring, if you have not both accepted yourself, and made peace with where you come from. Fighting, surpassing yourself, training at its very best; these are goals best pursued as a means of showing what is possible. If your life fighting is to become pure personal expression, not a tooth-and-nail battle over winning and losing, or with the other women-fighters you spar and box against; if your training is to be about learning and cooperation, and not a poor and violent tool for seeking external acceptance and dominance; then you need first to accept and integrate the aspects of your personality and history that cause you discomfort.

If you have not integrated your identity, you will forever be throwing a wrench into the spokes of your own life.
How does this happen?
Very simply, someone who has not made peace with either their past or themselves spends their time "bouncing off things". "Bouncing off" is any out of wack emotional reaction. Consider the difference between saying: "I absolutely, categorically hate x..." and saying: "Oh I just don't care for x, but really it doesn't bother me much"
One describes an emotional over-reaction to something, whereas the other describes a simple emotional neutrality to something one doesn't particularly like.

Which state of mind takes more energy?
Quite simply, not having made peace with your past and/or where you come from can be a big energy sink, because reacting to-, hating and denigrading things takes a lot of mental and emotional effort.

Perhaps your family or your community did not accept you as you would have liked when you were younger. Perhaps you did not accept them. From the point of view of progress, it matters very little whose fault what is. The essential point of departure is you strive today for a state of mind of neutrality. Don't bounce! Just note the presence of the thing that once bothered you and move on.
Refuse to become embroiled in a teenage, simple and gut-powered knee-jerk response. To the extent that you are able to do so, you will gain the ability to operate more freely and without the constraints that once hemmed you in!

No-Fall Yes-Fall

Apply this rock climbing thought experiment !
Reposted from Arno Ilger's Climbling Blog : http://warriorsway.com/no-fall-yes-fall/

One critical aspect of appropriate decisions is they must create a learning experience and not an injury experience. Many climbers never determine if it’s safe or not to fall on a climb. They engage all climbing situations by doing all they can to avoid falling and don’t push themselves to the point of purposely taking a fall. When they do fall it’s an accident, due to a hold breaking or getting suddenly pumped, and little or nothing is learned. To learn and improve, however, you must intentionally push beyond what your mind thinks you can do.

To do this, though, you must learn to distinguish between no-fall zones and yes-fall zones.Remember, even in “yes-fall” situations you can never make a risk totally safe or eliminate every possible negative consequence. All you can do is diminish the consequences by creating an appropriate risk, meaning one you fully understand and accept. You may be willing to risk a skinned knee from bumping the rock but not a sprained ankle from hitting a ledge. You may be willing to take a clean 15-foot air fall but not a 30-footer. Whatever the specifics, the key point is that you have a clear understanding of what you are committing to.

Yes-fall zones are not just places where it is “safe” to fall. They are places where it is appropriate for you to risk a fall. An appropriate risk pushes you a little outside your previous experience level (with falling) but not too far. You must be able to fully process the experience and learn.

No-fall zones seem self-explanatory: places where you shouldn’t fall because a fall could cause injury. But a no-fall zone might be one where a fall would scare you. Being a little scared is fine—-you can probably process that level of fear and stress. If a fall scares you too much, however, you’ll resist engaging a similar situation, stifling the learning process.-Therefore, don’t just look at the objective consequences of a fall, but weigh the consequences against your experience taking such falls. I suggest practicing falling frequently and intentionally. This will help you distinguish between no-fall and yes-fall zones. The process for doing this will be outlined in future lessons. Only with falling experience can you properly determine no-fall and yes-fall zones.

This determination is critical, because you engage these zones differently.One critical aspect of appropriate decisions is they must create a learning experience and not an injury experience. Many climbers never determine if it’s safe or not to fall on a climb. They engage all climbing situations by doing all they can to avoid falling and don’t push themselves to the point of purposely taking a fall. When they do fall it’s an accident, due to a hold breaking or getting suddenly pumped, and little or nothing is learned. To learn and improve, however, you must intentionally push beyond what your mind thinks you can do. To do this, though, you must learn to distinguish between no-fall zones and yes-fall zones.

-

Remember, even in “yes-fall” situations you can never make a risk totally safe or eliminate every possible negative consequence. All you can do is diminish the consequences by creating an appropriate risk, meaning one you fully understand and accept. You may be willing to risk a skinned knee from bumping the rock but not a sprained ankle from hitting a ledge. You may be willing to take a clean 15-foot air fall but not a 30-footer. Whatever the specifics, the key point is that you have a clear understanding of what you are committing to.

-

Yes-fall zones are not just places where it is “safe” to fall. They are places where it is appropriate for you to risk a fall. An appropriate risk pushes you a little outside your previous experience level (with falling) but not too far. You must be able to fully process the experience and learn.

-

No-fall zones seem self-explanatory: places where you shouldn’t fall because a fall could cause injury. But a no-fall zone might be one where a fall would scare you. Being a little scared is fine—-you can probably process that level of fear and stress. If a fall scares you too much, however, you’ll resist engaging a similar situation, stifling the learning process.

-

Therefore, don’t just look at the objective consequences of a fall, but weigh the consequences against your experience taking such falls. I suggest practicing falling frequently and intentionally. This will help you distinguish between no-fall and yes-fall zones. The process for doing this will be outlined in future lessons. Only with falling experience can you properly determine no-fall and yes-fall zones. This determination is critical, because you engage these zones differently.

THE LAW OF NO CONTROL

♣ Parce qu'au fond le vrai plaisir
♣ C'est p't'être juste de pas savoir
♣ Comment qu'a va finir
♣ Ta p'tite histoire…
- Les Cowboys Fringants


The control we have over our lives is very subtle. In fact, it can be summarized as: "You have the power (and the responsability) to be the best possible version of yourself." Beyond that, we control nothing.

We are not responsible for other people's behaviors and reactions. We can't be held accountable for the vicissitudes of our health (diet, exercise and stress-reduction excluded of course). All we control is what we put into the world. Our influence does not extend to what comes back, nor to what others make of what we put into the world !

This is a blessing, at least for those of us who feel the need to walk around with the weight of the world on our shoulders. It is time to put down that burden, and focus on the only thing we really do control - our actions.

Living can be a little like driving with our eyes closed; we need to trust the steadiness of our hand, and the direction of the road. Have confidence in your ability to exist is just about any situation. Uncertainty is part of life. It's the reason we get out of bed every morning - without that, life would be pretty dull !