WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR MISTAKES...

LET THEM HUMBLE YOU

There are many things you can choose to do with your mistakes. You can try to cover them up, or decide to live in their shadow. You can let them convince you to give up. You can try to fix your mistakes, which sometimes is, and sometimes isn't always possible. You also choose to learn from them.

By figuring out what you did wrong and working at not reproducing the same errors, you not only better your capacity for performance, but you also potentially make yourself better to be around.

The strategy I want to talk about is a bit different.

Very often, we expend a great deal of energy validating our opinions, behaviors and emotional reactions. The effect of this is that sometimes, we may be tempted to point fingers at other people. If someone does something inconsiderate, or hurtful, we  might judge them. We might act differently towards those that we imagine have committed some moral wrong.

This is where we can use our mistakes as a positive tool. By connecting with your worst, most hurtful or serious mistakes, it is possible to become more compassionate and understanding of those who make errors. You can use your mistakes to keep you humble. 

We have all, at some time, done something that's been hurtful a person close to us. What motivated that action ? Would we repeat it ?

By staying in touch with the mistakes we have made, we can increase our capacity for compassion. Remaining in contact with our mistakes is an important part of staying humble.

I also have a tendency to be judgmental of people at times. If I esteem that a person has or is in the process of committing a mistake, I might wonder how they can't predict the results of their behavior. I might begin to question their intelligence - either intellectual or emotional - or their maturity or capacity for decision-making. It is at times like there that I bring myself back to the mistakes I have made, to remind myself that we've all been guilty at one time or another.

Let me give you an example. Personally, a few months ago, I did something very hurtful to someone. In the final analysis, I'm not sure what I'd do differently, or to what extent I should not have acted as I did. What I am sure of, is the hurt I caused to the person on the receiving end of my behavior.

In dealing with my guilt and in processing what happened, I have been able to leverage this mistake to become more mindful of how other people get themselves into bad situations. If I am capable of doing something hurtful - out of inattention or lack of insight - surely everyone around me is capable of the same things. When I feel myself beginning to judge people for their short-comings, I bring myself back to my own mistake. I remind myself that all of us human being are capable of error and uncertainty that can be costly to others.

That's one of the ways in which I try to turn my mistakes into opportunities for growth.