Way of the Warrior Queen

SOMETHING TO CHECK OUT : HOLLI MONCRIEFF'S BLOG

2012-01-11T13:13:00.000-08:00

So fellow blogger Holli Moncrieff contacted me a while ago when she stumbled onto my blog. It's a rare thing: a female kickboxer who likes to write about kickboxing, and about her quest to make her passage through the world an interesting one. But it seems there are two of us out there...

Holli's mission statement reads: "I'm a writer of psychological suspense, a journalist, public relations professional, and Muay Thai kickboxer determined to live an extraordinary life."
How cool is that?
Do check out her blog at:

http://thekickboxingwriter.blogspot.com/

Book Review: Collapse

2012-01-10T17:47:00.001-08:00

By Jared DiamondI read Collapse over the Christmas break. While the book is not exactly heart-warming stuff, it's fascinating. As a sequel to Germs, Guns, and Steel, the book deals with how societies destroy themselves.From Easter island to the Maya and the mediaeval Viking settlers of Greenland, Diamond looks at how ecological mismanagement can drive peoples to extinction. The example that stood out for me was the comparison of the Greenland Inuit with the Vikings who attempted to settle the island. While the Norse settlement managed to cling to a fringe existence for some 400 years before a combination of climate and ecological degradation extinguished them, the Inuit colonized the North American and finally the Greenlandic Arctic. although there was contact between the Inuit and the Norse in Greenland, why did the Viking descendants not choose to learn from their Arctic neighbors? Why did they ultimately prefer death to adopting Inuit ways? You will need to read the book to find out.But one thing is for certain: Diamond's account of societal collapse due to ecological devastation is both chilling and frightening a propos of the ecological challenges we too face.

Positive thinking sucks !

2012-01-09T08:40:00.000-08:00

Article: Positive Thinking Sucks
Re-posted from Arno Ilgner's Rock Climbing blog

http://warriorsway.com/positive-thinking/

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A common question I hear from climbers is: “How can I get rid of my negative thinking?” They believe negative thinking hinders their performance; they would like to replace it with positive thinking. Does negative thinking have to be changed into positive thinking? Or, should we move beyond negative and positive thinking altogether?
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What improves awareness? Negative and positive are two aspects of the same reality. They balance each other. If we ignore the negative and enhance the positive then we limit our awareness and understanding of reality. Positive thinking essentially says negative thinking is wrong; it needs to be changed into positive thinking.
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Positive thinking can be equated with rearranging the furniture in our minds. We don’t like the furniture in its current arrangement so we switch it around to what we do like. This does nothing for improving mental fitness or awareness. Developing awareness seeks to remove the furniture completely.
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The world is made of cycles. We cannot always think positively. Eventually negative thinking will exert itself to bring us back into balance. Don’t push out negative thinking or replace it with positive thinking. Instead, develop awareness by moving beyond negative or positive. We do this by redirecting our attention to the task in the present moment.
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Developing awareness requires that we see reality completely, not in a biased, positive or negative manner. Starting from a foundation of developing awareness allows us to take a step back and see both negative and positive aspects of reality. Doing this helps us assess risks better and take appropriate risks.

True Motivation

2011-11-17T12:28:00.001-08:00

Re-posted from Arno Ilgner's Rock Climbing Blog... thanks Arno !

http://warriorsway.com/true-motivation/

Article: Staying True to Your Motivation

Chris Sharma is known for stating that what helps him stay motivated is to remain true to his motivation. If he doesn’t feel motivated to get on a particular project, he doesn’t. But how do we distinguish this from simple fear and avoidance?

We tend to be motivated if we feel we will get something from the experience. What is it that we get from a climbing experience? Well, two things: the end result (redpoint/on-sight) and the process (enjoying the climbing and learning from it).

What causes Chris’ motivation to rise and fall? Is it high when he feels he will send his project and low when he feels he won’t? I don’t think so. How many times did he get on First Round, First Minute over the two year period that he was working on it? “Too many times,” he is quoted as saying. If he was just motivated by the end result, and still continued to get on the project, always falling off the last move, then he really wouldn’t be demonstrating that he is being true to his motivation. Something is driving his motivation rather than simply getting the send.

You can be true to your motivation even if you are end result motivated. However, with end motivation you won’t get on climbs where you have a low chance of redpointing. You can also be true to your motivation by being process motivated. With a process motivation you get on climbs that teach you something, ones where you enjoy the actual climbing, even if they are very difficult for you.

To be true to your motivation, you need to clarify what goals you have and set them up in the appropriate hierarchy. With end goals secondary and process goals primary, you’ll be able to stay true to your motivation while you work toward accomplishing those difficult end result goals.

Practice Tip: Embrace Stress to Maintain Motivation

In the last lesson you listed 10- 5- and 1-year goals. These are end goals. You also listed process goals (the second bullet point). An important part of process goals is to enjoy the stress that occurs while climbing. Notice that your process goals have an element of stress associated with them. Now, get excited about that stress. That’s where the learning occurs and the enjoyment. And, if you embrace that stress instead of avoiding it, you’ll be motivated by the learning process and better able to recognize if you are being true to your motivatiStaying True to Your Motivation

FABLE OF THE HEDGEHOG

2011-11-15T17:06:00.001-08:00

Reposted from
http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4256994

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The hedgehogs, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.

After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.

The moral of the story is: Just learn to live with the pricks in your life!

Goal Setting Strategies

2011-11-14T07:04:00.001-08:00

Re-posted from Arno Ilgner's Rock Climbing Blog - http://warriorsway.com/goal-setting-strategies/

The last several lessons focused on decision-making and the creative process. Now let us touch on a few final topics as this year comes to an end. The end of the year is a great time to contemplate the past year and what we’d like to accomplish next year.

Contemplation requires us to slow down from our hectic pace, stop, and think. We need time to think without the pressures of daily life. The first step in goal setting is carving out time for doing this. What works well for me is to sit on my back patio, get a brew like coffee or beer, and take in my surrounding. It’s autumn right now so the maple leaves are turning yellow and red, falling to the ground and covering the lawn. The temps are perfect.

Just sit, take in the environment, and let your feelings arise as you reflect on the past year. When you slow down like this, you allow feelings about the quality of your life to surface. Have you challenged yourself this last year? Did you accomplish what you intended? Did you learn anything and expand your awareness? It’s in moments like these that you become aware of deeper issues and desires in your life.

How does this manifest itself in your climbing? How have you challenged yourself on climbs? Did you accomplish routes or climbing goals you intended? Did you learn more about why you’re fearful or what limits your climbing? Are you going to the same ole climbing areas, climbing the same ole routes? Do you really want to be sitting here next year feeling the same way?

Take this time, this moment, to ask these questions, contemplate the answers, and set goals that will create the climbing life you desire.

Thanks Arno !

MAINTENANCE

2011-10-03T05:38:00.000-07:00

We released our creativity in the last lesson and came up with mountains and walls to climb, certain people we want to climb with, and difficulty grades to aspire to. Now we need to take action on those ideas. We’ll need to tap our inner resources and stay receptive as we take action.

Are you great at coming up with ideas but then fizzle when it’s time to take action? If so, you could be getting discouraged because your mind isn’t thinking in small increments. A great question to always ask is: “What small actionable step can I take in the direction of engagement?” Small steps help us stay engaged and build momentum. Maintaining the idea will probably be a long gradual process made up of steps that build one upon the other. Your mind will want to achieve the end result before you have developed enough experience and skill. Be patient but persistent with your maintenance process. Be honest with your efforts, what you are doing that is helpful, and what you need to modify. This can be a fun process if you allow it to be.

Let’s say you listed an idea to redpoint The Naked Edge in Eldorado Springs Canyon, Colorado. “The Edge” is poised high on the Redgarden Wall, offering dramatic exposure while sinking your fingers into 5.11 finger cracks. It’s a route with a rich history. Layton Kor and Bob Culp did the first ascent in 1962. It was free climbed by Jim Erickson and Duncan Ferguson in 1971 during the free climbing explosion, characterized by “aid elimination.”

A route like The Edge can be daunting. You may measure yourself against the likes of Kor or Erickson and feel like you’ll never be equal. Don’t let your mind do this to you. Rather, find little actionable steps you can take in the direction of engagement. Small steps may include climbing other routes that are less exposed to gain experience with exposure. And, climbing easier finger cracks or single pitch cracks that you can toprope to work specifically on developing your jamming skills.

The main point of this stage is to maintain momentum. Taking small steps builds momentum and moves you gradually toward your vision.

Maintenance of Ideas

Re-posted from Arno Ilgner's Climbing Blog

http://warriorsway.com/maintenance/

Let’s say you listed an idea to redpoint The Naked Edge in Eldorado Springs Canyon, Colorado. “The Edge” is poised high on the Redgarden Wall, offering dramatic exposure while sinking your fingers into 5.11 finger cracks. It’s a route with a rich history. Layton Kor and Bob Culp did the first ascent in 1962. It was free climbed by Jim Erickson and Duncan Ferguson in 1971 during the free climbing explosion, characterized by “aid elimination.”

A route like The Edge can be daunting. You may measure yourself against the likes of Kor or Erickson and feel like you’ll never be equal. Don’t let your mind do this to you. Rather, find little actionable steps you can take in the direction of engagement. Small steps may include climbing other routes that are less exposed to gain experience with exposure. And, climbing easier finger cracks or single pitch cracks that you can toprope to work specifically on developing your jamming skills.

The main point of this stage is to maintain momentum. Taking small steps builds momentum and moves you gradually toward your vision.

WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR MISTAKES...

2011-09-27T17:21:00.001-07:00

LET THEM HUMBLE YOU

There are many things you can choose to do with your mistakes. You can try to cover them up, or decide to live in their shadow. You can let them convince you to give up. You can try to fix your mistakes, which sometimes is, and sometimes isn't always possible. You also choose to learn from them.

By figuring out what you did wrong and working at not reproducing the same errors, you not only better your capacity for performance, but you also potentially make yourself better to be around.

The strategy I want to talk about is a bit different.

Very often, we expend a great deal of energy validating our opinions, behaviors and emotional reactions. The effect of this is that sometimes, we may be tempted to point fingers at other people. If someone does something inconsiderate, or hurtful, we might judge them. We might act differently towards those that we imagine have committed some moral wrong.

This is where we can use our mistakes as a positive tool. By connecting with your worst, most hurtful or serious mistakes, it is possible to become more compassionate and understanding of those who make errors. You can use your mistakes to keep you humble.

We have all, at some time, done something that's been hurtful a person close to us. What motivated that action ? Would we repeat it ?

By staying in touch with the mistakes we have made, we can increase our capacity for compassion. Remaining in contact with our mistakes is an important part of staying humble.

I also have a tendency to be judgmental of people at times. If I esteem that a person has or is in the process of committing a mistake, I might wonder how they can't predict the results of their behavior. I might begin to question their intelligence - either intellectual or emotional - or their maturity or capacity for decision-making. It is at times like there that I bring myself back to the mistakes I have made, to remind myself that we've all been guilty at one time or another.

Let me give you an example. Personally, a few months ago, I did something very hurtful to someone. In the final analysis, I'm not sure what I'd do differently, or to what extent I should not have acted as I did. What I am sure of, is the hurt I caused to the person on the receiving end of my behavior.

In dealing with my guilt and in processing what happened, I have been able to leverage this mistake to become more mindful of how other people get themselves into bad situations. If I am capable of doing something hurtful - out of inattention or lack of insight - surely everyone around me is capable of the same things. When I feel myself beginning to judge people for their short-comings, I bring myself back to my own mistake. I remind myself that all of us human being are capable of error and uncertainty that can be costly to others.

That's one of the ways in which I try to turn my mistakes into opportunities for growth.

BOOK REVIEW - THE BONE CAGE

2011-09-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

By Angie Abdou

Angie Abdou's The Bone Cage is not only entertaining and well-written, but it gives a great snap-shot of the daily life of elite athletes.

Featuring the Olympic training camps of wrestler Digger and swimmer Sadie, the book traces the highs, lows and grinding fatigue that are part of these athletes' lives. The book opens with a scene in which Digger and his teammates sweat to cut weight, and anyone who's struggled with the psychological drain of sweating off pounds will relate.

Beyond Abdou's story-telling, the book has two particularly interesting themes that relate to elite amateur sport. First, The Bone Cage explores how the practice of sport at the National and International level can become a self-centered way of life. Because they are required to give4 so much to better performance, elite athletes spend most of their time and energy in practice. This leaves little else for family- or romantic life. At the amateur level, where athletes are usually living on very little while they train and compete, many individuals also give their careers a back seat. It's interesting to follow the lives of Digger and Sadie as they negotiate family tragedy and financial stress.

For me, however, the most interesting aspect of the book, is the theme of retirement from sport. Both of the protagonists are at the end of their competitive careers. The Bone Cage gives real insight into what it feels like to be so unifocused--with all your and your family and community's energies and efforts directed at one goal. It highlights what it must feel like when, from one day to the next, you lose this focus because it is time to move on, and you go back to being a 'civilian'. From a Buddhist point of view, it's a great story about letting go.

Anyone who is or has been seriously involved in sport will relate to this story about what happens the day after your last fight. It's also just a good read though. I recommended the book to my brother, who's not involved in serious competitive sport. After he asked me: "Why would you ever want to cut weight ?", he told me he really enjoyed the book.

So it seems you don't have to be an athlete to enjoy The Bone Cage .

From the Koran..

2011-09-21T10:39:00.001-07:00

Live every moment in this world as if you were a traveler from a strange land...

BOOK REVIEW : MILLIONAIRE IN 90 DAYS - WORKING OUT AT THE GYM

2011-01-07T05:06:00.000-08:00

Book by Karate School Owner Ben Stewart

I got my hands on this book a bit randomly. Coming back from an international kickboxing tournament, my coaches got handed a few copies of Millionaire in 90 Days in Schipol airport by Ben Stewart. They decided two copies were too many for their apartment, and upon our return to Montreal, the book found its way into my gym bag and finally onto my nightstand.

I have to admit, I was skeptical at first. The title and cover made me wonder what sort of writing could be inside. Once I opened the book (over Christmas break, on a transatlantic flight), I wasn't sure about the simple and un-poetic writing style.

After the first half of page one, however, these things stopped mattering and I actually started reading Stewart's book for the ideas and information inside. Stewart has had a unusual and quite successful go of things. 9-time world Karate/Kickboxing champion, millionaire business owner, and Karate teacher- and school-owner, Stewart has obviously done a few things right.

Millionaire in 90 Days, transmits some of Stewart's ideas about how living with a millionaire's mindset, lifestyle and attitude is the first step to success. He presents his game-plan for taking control of your time, finances and weight/fitness. Depending on where you sit on the spectrum with how well you control these areas of your life, Stewart's advice may or may not be new information. As a holistic strategy, however, he does a good job of covering most of the bases and giving an overview of what a winning lifestyle could look like.

On leveraging time, he has some particularly valuable things to say. If you earn 30$ an hour, for example, why spend your time doing tasks that you can pay someone else 10$ an hour to do (for example grocieries, dishes, and household chores)? Work one extra hour and this will effectively buy you 2 hours more of free time, since the ratio of your time to minimum wage is 3:1.

For the small business owner as well, Stewart has some good advice. He advises moving from the position of doer to manager and coordinator. Systematize, he argues. You want to get your business to the point where it can function without you! This is how you will truly be able to take advantage of the time and lifestyle that wealth- and business ownership should afford you.

I enjoyed this book, and I believe just about anyone starting out in business or looking for practical, no-nonsense ways to gain control of their lives will find at least a few useful kernels in Millionaire in 90 Days.

It's now been 10 days since I began reading the book (I finished it 2 days ago). By applying it's lessons, I now have 80 more days to become a millionaire... ;) Let's see if it works !

You can check out Ben Stewart's motivation businesses at:
www.ben-stewart.com

TIME IS YOUR ONLY RESOURCE

2010-12-08T07:44:00.000-08:00

Quoted from Robert Greene's book "The 33 Strategies of War"

[Conflict] is a physical affair, which takes place somewhere specific... But time is just as important as space in strategic thought, and knowing how to use time will make you a superior strategist, giving an added dimension to your attacks and defense.

To do this you must stop thinking of time as an abstraction: in reality, beginning the minute you are born, time is all you have. It is your only true commodity. People can take away your possessions, but--short of murder--not even the most powerful aggressors can take time away from you unless you let them.

Even in prison your time is your own, if you use it for your own purposes. To waste your time in battles not of your choosing is more that just a mistake, it is stupidity of the highest order. Time lost can never be regained.

GET UP, GET OUT

2010-12-06T18:56:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you might feel tired or defeated.
That's ok.
Get up. Get your ass outta bed. Get out there.

Sometimes it's all you can muster to keep your feet moving. Sometimes it may feel like you're going through the motions. Sometimes that's all you've got.
But it's good enough.

Bed's for sick people and the couch is for 30 minutes of rest, no more.

"When running up a mountain, you can give up a 1000 times. Just as long as your feet keep moving!"

SHIFTING TO DOING

2010-11-22T06:29:00.000-08:00

REPRINTED FROM ARNO ILGNER'S ROCK CLIMBING BLOG
http://warriorsway.com/shifting-to-doing/

As you transition from preparation to action, you move from one skill set to another. In action, you use the doing skill set; you focus attention on acting out your plan. If you drag thinking into doing, you mix skill sets and attention will be diffused between the two, limiting the effectiveness of either process. Remember, climbing includes stopping and moving. Thinking occurs when you stop, at mini and micro decision points. Then you move between them.

Remember to stop and think, OR move and do. Students in the Espresso Clinic learn the mantra, “When you rest, rest; when you climb, climb.” This helps them separate the skill sets of thinking and doing. Heighten your state of arousal by doing a few deliberate exhales. Breathing shifts attention out of your head and into your body, and helps you break free.

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For making decisions we discussed how to break free of thinking. Heighten your state of arousal by doing a few deliberate exhales. Breathing shifts attention out of your head and into your body, and helps you break free.

WHAT'S YOURS, WHAT'S MINE...

2010-11-22T06:21:00.000-08:00

OWN YOUR STUFF, NOT SOMEONE ELSE'S !

I had a friend of mine ask me an interesting question this week. He was on the outs with a good friend of his, but the strange thing was, he didn't really know why. His friend seemed insulted and irritated with him. When our hero confronted his friend and asked what was wrong, the person said: "Nothing nothing" and then proceeded to continue acting irritable.

What to do with something like this ?

Let me start off by saying, in life, that we are not responsible for other people's reactions. This might be a bit of a depressing place to begin, but if - like our hero - you have a friend who's taken it into her head that you've done something wrong, and she isn't willing to forgive, it's sad, but it's not under your control.

That is how life works. We act. We put stuff out into the world (or not). And the other people who surround us interpret our action or non-action. They get their own ideas, they decide on their own reactions to us.

This means that if someone has decided to be angry with you - and you've confronted the situation to no avail - there isn't a whole lot you can do about it. The first thing to realize is that others own their reactions, not you.

Other people reactions to your actions are beyond your control. Following a confrontation or some sort of unpleasantness, uou owe people to extend your hand, but it is up to them whether they take it.

BOOK REVIEW : THE SEQUOIA SEED

2010-10-12T17:06:00.000-07:00

"It is not what happens to you that determines your fate. It is what you do next."
- Karen Wright, The Sequoia Seed

Karen Wright's book, The Sequoia Seed, begins with an explanation of how the magnificent Sequoia tree reproduces itself. It's tiny seeds may lie dormant on the forest floor for many, many years before a fire comes along. The extreme heat of the fire activates the seed, allowing it to sprout. No intense, burning heat, no Sequoia!
This is the metaphor that guides Karen's spiritual book. Here thesis: as humans beings we are also forged in the fires of the challenges that we face. No searing wounds or challenges, no re-birth and no growth.

In this way, Karen dissects numerous issues that may hold us human beings back from living life to its fullest. She discusses, among other themes, the ability to accept the end of things, or a loss, as a new beginning. She explains how and why it is so essential to live for ourselves, and not for others. She sheds light on why so many of us have trouble with this. She argues also for the important of taking stock once in a while, in order that we might accurately and honestly know where we stand.

Her books is simply written, and full of sound, easy-to-use spiritual advice. I would recommend it to anyone who is beginning or already on the warrior's path !

Check out her website for more information:
http://www.wrightminded.com/

GOT A SELF-DISCIPLINE PROBLEM ??

2010-10-11T09:52:00.000-07:00

Troubles with self-discipline ?
Do you think you may be lacking the iron will and the follow-through to get where you want?

Before we get into self-discipline specifically, it is important that you're first checked in with yourself to make sure that you are truly suffering from a self-discipline problem. Very often, what might appear as a self-discipline problem may actually be a question of confused motivation or incomplete committment. Self-discipline usually becomes a problem with respect to certain goals you would like to attain (weight loss, taking up sports or investing in a hobby, saving, cleaning the house, quitting smoking) that sort of thing?

Well, in order to succeed, you need to make sure you are really, unwaiveringly committed to your goals. Otherwise, when the going gets tough, you will cave.
So what are your goals? Are they imposed on you from outside, or are they really truly yours ?
If they are yours, any waivering on your part is actually cheating yourself!

You may also want to consult for help on a particular issue. No matter what goals you would like to attain, chances are there is someone out there who's cracked the best way of dealing with a problem.
For example, in my kickboxing fights, I always have a weight category to respect. For a long time I had a really hard time making weight. I would try every diet, and end up hungry or lacking energy. I wasn't missing self-discipline, but I was doing the equivalent of trying to win the Tour de France bike race with a low-tech bike. My objective seemed to get further and further away no matter how hard I peddled!

I finally consulted a nutritionist. She put me on a program that boosted my energy and got me losing weight. It was great!
But had I continued banging my head against the wall with my old, non-effective method of dieting, I'd still be frustrated and doubtful of my capacity for self-discipline. The real problem, though, was knowledge.

When you are trying to break habits or make a change, there is probably some knowledge out there that can make the switch easier. Why not consult and expert?

So, basically, you should check in with yourself to make sure your self-discipline problem is really that, and not a lack of knowledge, or a lack of committment with respect to your goals. If self-discipline truly is your problem, here is something you can try!

Like other facets of your mind and body, your capacity for self-discipline can be trained. There are three steps to this process, according to Roberto Assagioli M.D., Italian psychoanalyst. In the preparation phase, the warrior engages in a process of visualization. She imagines the possible negative outcomes that may ensue from a low level of self-discipline . These consequences could include harm done to self or others . Consequences may simply be a life of mediocrity, or else a continuation of some undesirable state of affairs. The picture of what your life will look like if you are unable to commit fully should be as complete as possible. The more repulsive the picture, the more likely you are to avoid it!

Next, picture yourself living with the fruits of a strong commitment. These results might be anything from weight-loss, to winning your next big fight, or addressing a social- or work- issue that you've been avoiding. Get specific! If you can taste and smell the results, you'll be compelled to train and try hard!

The third step is to carry out exercises to train your ability to be self-disciplined. Such exercises are a lot like training the body through sprints or push-ups. The aim is to get your discipline- muscles into shape little by little.
“[Be] systematically heroic every day in little unnecessary things; do something every other day, for the sole and simple reason that it is difficult and you would prefer not to do it, so that when the cruel hour of danger strikes, you will not be unnerved or unprepared. Self-discipline of this kind is similar to the insurance that one pays on one's house and on one's possessions. To pay the premium is not pleasant and possibly may never serve us, but should it happen that our house were burnt, the payment will save us from ruin” (William James, Talks to Teachers-New York, Holt, 1912, pp. 75-76).

Dr. Assogioli suggests things as far out as standing on a chair for ten minutes a day, and being happy about it! He also recommends putting one hundred little pieces of paper into a box, one by one without hurrying.

This may see a bit eccentric. But all around you, there are more prosaic and useful ways to train your ability to be disciplined. There are probably hundreds of either difficult or tedious things you've been avoiding! Doing dishes, washing the floor, returning phone calls, or confronting someone – all these can serve as trial ground for being disciplined and committed. The crux is that you get comfortable with executing tasks that are unappealing. In this way, when you meet a situation that really does require self-discipline, you'll be prepared!

Serious physical training is pretty similar. Increased performance happens for two reasons. Of course your body gets stronger, but your mind also gets better at resisting discomfort. If you've done any kind of weight- or resistance training you'll have noticed this phenomenon. At first, when you start on an exercise, your progression in number of repetitions or in weight lifted is much faster than your muscles' potential for growth. Your brain actually gets better at pushing! Your mind becomes able to differentiate mild discomfort from the pain associated with not being able to push any further. Training in self-discipline is the same. You actually have more willpower than you think! It's just a matter of teaching your brain how and where to apply pressure.

BIG PICTURE PLEASE !

2010-10-04T11:45:00.000-07:00

I had a friend ask me a question about how to position himself with regards to the changing economy, his life-passion, and what country to live in!
If America's position in the world is changing, and employment prospects in some industries may be affected for a long time, should he consider emigrating to seek greener pastures elsewhere?

The fact is, many, many factors go into choosing a career and a place to live. Money is only one of them!
Culture, language, standard of living, family, prospects for educating children, political and social security and freedoms, and a long-term partner must all play a part in the decision! A country's economic place in the world is only one factor of many. One needs to consider ALL these issues, not just the world economy.

For example, even if you live in a country that is doing well on a world scale, it won't help you much if you are super homesick and miss your family!

The same goes for a job. When choosing a career, yes it is important to consider employments prospects, the job market and salary. But above all, the most important thing, is to make sure you are doing something you love. You spend at least 8 hours per day working (a third of your life!). Wouldn't it be terrible to waste this time doing something you don't love? You never get this time back!
Indeed, many people make financial sacrifies to have a job they love, over a job that pays better. Afterall, money is a tool that is supposed to be used to make you happy... wouldn't it be better if you could make yourself happy without spending any, in a job you love ?

Designing a perfect life - because that is the goal, isn't it? - is best approached as a holistic, big picture problem. Don't ask yourself only about how much money you want to make. Don't decide on a country to live in purely because of dollar signs (or lack thereof).

You need to paint a picture of the life you want to live IN FULL. It is important for you to be with your family? To speak the local language? To be able to walk on the beach? To not have long working hours? To earn a lot of money?
Once you've dreamt up an ideal scenario of the WHOLE life you want, it will become easier to make small-picture decisions (like your job, your major, etc.).

Thanks again to Youtube ;)

2010-09-14T13:04:00.001-07:00

Yes, It is Your Fault

2010-09-13T15:58:00.000-07:00

The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.
- Lou Holtz

In the words of Dr. Phil: “Choose the behavior and you choose the consequences.” Your health (to the extent that you influence it), your reactions to other people, your temper, and what you choose to put out into the world; it is all under your control. You control your interpretations of events. You are accountable for your thoughts and interpretations. You are responsible for your “behavioral footprint”, not your mother, your boyfriend, your teachers or your dog, but you!

You are accountable for your reputation and your word (for you only have one). You are accountable for how you treat your physical body. You own what you put out into public space. That goes for trash, for emotional garbage, and reactions, and for judgments.

The place you live: your fault. The relationships you maintain (or choose to let slide): also your fault. Your job, your mortgage, your pets, your kids, the commitments you made and the responsibilities they engender: YOUR CHOICE! Writes Dr. Phil: “You wanted the damn dog... You let him in... You scratched it... You quit... You wanted to move... You bought the damn thing... You ate it... You let them talk you into it... You believed him... You asked her...” (Life Strategies, 1999: 75).

When you chose a job or a city or a marriage, you did so as a free adult. No one threatened you. No one held a gun to your head. You are the sole proprietor of the commitments you entered into freely. You don't have to do anything. You chose the life you live, piece by little piece. And each and every day you maintain those choices by continuing to act on them. So it is your fault! You are accountable!

When you shoulder the responsibilities of the life you have created and you will find yourself tiring under the weight from time to time recall that you chose each and every thing of your own accord. The financial, emotional, and human repercussions of your engagements are your own doing. And you choose to remain in these engagements every moment you continue to live them. I repeat: no one's holding a gun to your head! You're choosing to stay, to keep at it, to press on.

On the warrior's path there can be no escape from this. Consider that next time you find yourself saying: “I have to walk the dog” or “I have to make rent or pay the mortgage”Remember it especially when you may be tempted to say: “That's just the way I am.” No! You choose to be who you are. That’s the basic consequence of being accountable to yourself., and to the warrior's path. You choose. Period.

Performance Goals vs Learning Goals: Are We Learning or Looking Good?

2010-09-10T12:55:00.000-07:00

Reposted from:
http://preilly.wordpress.com/2007/12/19/performance-goals-vs-learning-goals-are-we-learning-or-looking-good/

By Pete Reilly

This from the Leading Blog “Which Should You Have? Performance Goals versus Learning Goals” based on research from Carol Dweck.

“Performance goals are about “winning positive judgments of your competence and avoiding negative ones. In other words, when students pursue performance goals they’re concerned with their level of intelligence: They want to look smart (to themselves or others) and avoid looking dumb.” A person usually does this by playing it safe.

Learning goals are ones that are about increasing your competence.

“It reflects a desire to learn new skills, master new tasks, or understand new things…”

In order to do develop new competencies students often go through a phase of confusion, failure, and discomfort. Think about what it feels like to learn a new video game, learn to juggle, or speak another language. Being a beginner requires us to quiet our egos and a willingness to look like a beginner, often in front of others.

Both goals she noted are common and can fuel achievement.

“The tasks that are best for learning are often challenging ones that involve displaying ignorance and risking periods of confusion and errors. The tasks that are best for looking smart are often ones that students are already good at and won’t really learn as much from doing.”

I’ve watched a number of people join my Aikido class and quit soon thereafter because they want to learn it quickly. They don’t like being beginners.

Interesting that our schools have structured themselves to emphasize and reward levels of achievement not “degrees of learning”. NCLB has further encouraged the focus on achievement. As the Leading Blog says:

“..most people would opt for performance goals. Who wants to take a chance of being criticized for looking dumb? Are we learning or looking good?”

Interesting that so many schools that call themselves “Learning Communities” are structured to encourage performance and achievement goals.

Sadly, it is rare to find an educator who will allow themselves to “look dumb” in front of other educators or their own students. When we hide the difficulties involved in learning from our children, or decide that we should stick to things we know, and stay away from things that are unfamiliar so we don’t look bad; we become role models for playing it safe and provide a poor example for young learners.

WHAT TO DO ABOUT MONKEY MIND...

2010-09-06T06:54:00.000-07:00

The EAGLE and the CHICKEN

2010-08-26T11:48:00.000-07:00

Be careful who you listen to!

Once upon a time, an old farmer found an eagle's egg. Because he didn't know where it had come from, yet he wanted the bird to have a chance at life, he placed it into the nest of one of his chickens.
The eagle hatched along with the other chickens. He learned to scratch for worms and to flap a few feet of the ground.

One day, the young eagle looked up and saw a magestic, older eagle soaring high in the sky. Captivated, he asked one of the older chickens:

"Who is that beautiful bird?"
"That is the eagle, the king of birds," replied his chicken-friend. "They dominate the sky, while we chickens live on earth."

The young eagle proceeded to live the rest of his life as a chicken, for that's what everyone led him to believe he was.

THE PORCUPINE

2010-08-22T20:12:00.000-07:00

A fable about emotional boundaries
Reposted from http://www.extension.iastate.edu/mt/civility/2008/03/

“Porcupines huddled together for warmth on a cold day; but as they began to prick one another with their quills, they were obliged to disperse. However the cold drove them together again, when just the same thing happened. At last, after many turns of huddling and dispersing, they discovered that they would be best off by remaining at a little distance from one another.

“In the same way, the need of society drives the human porcupines together--only to be mutually repelled by the many prickly and disagreeable qualities of their nature. The moderate distance which they at last discover to be the only tolerable condition of intercourse, is the code of politeness and fine manners; and those who transgress it are roughly told—in the English phrase—to keep their distance.

“By this arrangement the mutual need of warmth is only very moderately satisfied--but then people do not get pricked. A man who has some heat in himself prefers to remain outside, where he will neither prick other people nor get pricked himself.”

--The Essays of Arthur Schopenhauer; Counsels and Maxims by Arthur Schopenhauer, German philosopher (1788-1860)

The next time you think of emotional boundaries, think of porcupines.

Change Alone is Unchanging

2010-08-21T08:04:00.001-07:00

- Greek Philosopher Heraclitus

We frequently mistake the present for permanent. Yet, life is not solid. “Nothing I have is really mine,” signs pop diva Dido. The universe lends us things. Our bodies, our houses, our cars, our jobs, even the people we love—all are borrowed. Everything we have today we’ll one day have to return to the universe, our lives and bodies included. Ignoring or fighting against this fact only causes suffering. It doesn’t alter the reality of change.

Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön explains: “We are like children building a sand castle. We embellish it with colored shells, bits of driftwood, and pieces of glass. The castle is ours, off limits to others. We’re willing to attack if others threaten to hurt it. Yet despite all our attachment, we know that the tide will inevitably come in and sweep the sand castle away. The trick is to enjoy it fully but without clinging, and when the time comes, let it dissolve back into the sea.”

It’s this misunderstanding of impermanence that causes us to cling to that which gives us a false sense of stability. Holding on to Ego, to negative self-statements, to ways of misperceiving the world and even to relationships or phases of life; each of these processes is a strategy we use to prevent the groundless feeling associated with change. But all things are in a constant cycle of becoming. We can’t immobilize or freeze reality. We suffer because we believe we can prevent impermanence. If only we could try hard enough, we think, we could avoid loss, sadness, and change. This is absolutely not the case.

The ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus founded a way of thinking based on change. “No man ever steps in the same river twice,” wrote Heraclitus. “For it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” Accepting impermanence and, therefore change, is at the very root of the warrior’s way of living. It is the final lesson in learning to let go.

UNBENDING INTENTION

2010-07-19T06:34:00.000-07:00

Re-posted from Arno Ilgner's Rock Climbing Blog
http://warriorsway.com/intention/

In order to create the most powerful effort, you must have your attention fully in the present moment. What motivates you and how you set your intentions will determine what happens to your attention. We’ve discussed earlier how motivation must be grounded primarily in process goals that allow us to grow, and secondarily in end goals.

Aligning goals this way maintains motivation when you are under maximum stress. Once you’ve established effective motivation, you can begin to set effective intentions.-As we said earlier, intention is attention focused in the direction of a choice or decision. In any climbing situation, you will have both end-result intentions and process intentions. Your end-result intention involves attaining an end goal, such as achieving a redpoint or arriving at the next decision point.

End-result intentions are part of the process, but you cannot act on them. You need intentions your body can act out. Process intentions might include continuous breathing and moving through the next section, giving focused effort to each move, and not allowing your resolve to waver.In order to create the most powerful effort, you must have your attention fully in the present moment. What motivates you and how you set your intentions will determine what happens to your attention.

We’ve discussed earlier how motivation must be grounded primarily in process goals that allow us to grow, and secondarily in end goals. Aligning goals this way maintains motivation when you are under maximum stress. Once you’ve established effective motivation, you can begin to set effective intentions.

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As we said earlier, intention is attention focused in the direction of a choice or decision. In any climbing situation, you will have both end-result intentions and process intentions. Your end-result intention involves attaining an end goal, such as achieving a redpoint or arriving at the next decision point.

End-result intentions are part of the process, but you cannot act on them. You need intentions your body can act out. Process intentions might include continuous breathing and moving through the next section, giving focused effort to each move, and not allowing your resolve to waver.

MAKE PEACE AND MOVE ON

2010-07-18T18:09:00.000-07:00

You cannot face life, and you cannot face the ring, if you have not both accepted yourself, and made peace with where you come from. Fighting, surpassing yourself, training at its very best; these are goals best pursued as a means of showing what is possible. If your life fighting is to become pure personal expression, not a tooth-and-nail battle over winning and losing, or with the other women-fighters you spar and box against; if your training is to be about learning and cooperation, and not a poor and violent tool for seeking external acceptance and dominance; then you need first to accept and integrate the aspects of your personality and history that cause you discomfort.

If you have not integrated your identity, you will forever be throwing a wrench into the spokes of your own life.
How does this happen?
Very simply, someone who has not made peace with either their past or themselves spends their time "bouncing off things". "Bouncing off" is any out of wack emotional reaction. Consider the difference between saying: "I absolutely, categorically hate x..." and saying: "Oh I just don't care for x, but really it doesn't bother me much"
One describes an emotional over-reaction to something, whereas the other describes a simple emotional neutrality to something one doesn't particularly like.

Which state of mind takes more energy?
Quite simply, not having made peace with your past and/or where you come from can be a big energy sink, because reacting to-, hating and denigrading things takes a lot of mental and emotional effort.

Perhaps your family or your community did not accept you as you would have liked when you were younger. Perhaps you did not accept them. From the point of view of progress, it matters very little whose fault what is. The essential point of departure is you strive today for a state of mind of neutrality. Don't bounce! Just note the presence of the thing that once bothered you and move on.
Refuse to become embroiled in a teenage, simple and gut-powered knee-jerk response. To the extent that you are able to do so, you will gain the ability to operate more freely and without the constraints that once hemmed you in!

No-Fall Yes-Fall

2010-06-07T06:29:00.000-07:00

Apply this rock climbing thought experiment !
Reposted from Arno Ilger's Climbling Blog : http://warriorsway.com/no-fall-yes-fall/

One critical aspect of appropriate decisions is they must create a learning experience and not an injury experience. Many climbers never determine if it’s safe or not to fall on a climb. They engage all climbing situations by doing all they can to avoid falling and don’t push themselves to the point of purposely taking a fall. When they do fall it’s an accident, due to a hold breaking or getting suddenly pumped, and little or nothing is learned. To learn and improve, however, you must intentionally push beyond what your mind thinks you can do.

To do this, though, you must learn to distinguish between no-fall zones and yes-fall zones.Remember, even in “yes-fall” situations you can never make a risk totally safe or eliminate every possible negative consequence. All you can do is diminish the consequences by creating an appropriate risk, meaning one you fully understand and accept. You may be willing to risk a skinned knee from bumping the rock but not a sprained ankle from hitting a ledge. You may be willing to take a clean 15-foot air fall but not a 30-footer. Whatever the specifics, the key point is that you have a clear understanding of what you are committing to.

Yes-fall zones are not just places where it is “safe” to fall. They are places where it is appropriate for you to risk a fall. An appropriate risk pushes you a little outside your previous experience level (with falling) but not too far. You must be able to fully process the experience and learn.

No-fall zones seem self-explanatory: places where you shouldn’t fall because a fall could cause injury. But a no-fall zone might be one where a fall would scare you. Being a little scared is fine—-you can probably process that level of fear and stress. If a fall scares you too much, however, you’ll resist engaging a similar situation, stifling the learning process.-Therefore, don’t just look at the objective consequences of a fall, but weigh the consequences against your experience taking such falls. I suggest practicing falling frequently and intentionally. This will help you distinguish between no-fall and yes-fall zones. The process for doing this will be outlined in future lessons. Only with falling experience can you properly determine no-fall and yes-fall zones.

This determination is critical, because you engage these zones differently.One critical aspect of appropriate decisions is they must create a learning experience and not an injury experience. Many climbers never determine if it’s safe or not to fall on a climb. They engage all climbing situations by doing all they can to avoid falling and don’t push themselves to the point of purposely taking a fall. When they do fall it’s an accident, due to a hold breaking or getting suddenly pumped, and little or nothing is learned. To learn and improve, however, you must intentionally push beyond what your mind thinks you can do. To do this, though, you must learn to distinguish between no-fall zones and yes-fall zones.

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Remember, even in “yes-fall” situations you can never make a risk totally safe or eliminate every possible negative consequence. All you can do is diminish the consequences by creating an appropriate risk, meaning one you fully understand and accept. You may be willing to risk a skinned knee from bumping the rock but not a sprained ankle from hitting a ledge. You may be willing to take a clean 15-foot air fall but not a 30-footer. Whatever the specifics, the key point is that you have a clear understanding of what you are committing to.

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Yes-fall zones are not just places where it is “safe” to fall. They are places where it is appropriate for you to risk a fall. An appropriate risk pushes you a little outside your previous experience level (with falling) but not too far. You must be able to fully process the experience and learn.

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No-fall zones seem self-explanatory: places where you shouldn’t fall because a fall could cause injury. But a no-fall zone might be one where a fall would scare you. Being a little scared is fine—-you can probably process that level of fear and stress. If a fall scares you too much, however, you’ll resist engaging a similar situation, stifling the learning process.

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Therefore, don’t just look at the objective consequences of a fall, but weigh the consequences against your experience taking such falls. I suggest practicing falling frequently and intentionally. This will help you distinguish between no-fall and yes-fall zones. The process for doing this will be outlined in future lessons. Only with falling experience can you properly determine no-fall and yes-fall zones. This determination is critical, because you engage these zones differently.

THE LAW OF NO CONTROL

2010-05-28T05:56:00.000-07:00

♣ Parce qu'au fond le vrai plaisir
♣ C'est p't'être juste de pas savoir
♣ Comment qu'a va finir
♣ Ta p'tite histoire…
- Les Cowboys Fringants

The control we have over our lives is very subtle. In fact, it can be summarized as: "You have the power (and the responsability) to be the best possible version of yourself." Beyond that, we control nothing.

We are not responsible for other people's behaviors and reactions. We can't be held accountable for the vicissitudes of our health (diet, exercise and stress-reduction excluded of course). All we control is what we put into the world. Our influence does not extend to what comes back, nor to what others make of what we put into the world !

This is a blessing, at least for those of us who feel the need to walk around with the weight of the world on our shoulders. It is time to put down that burden, and focus on the only thing we really do control - our actions.

Living can be a little like driving with our eyes closed; we need to trust the steadiness of our hand, and the direction of the road. Have confidence in your ability to exist is just about any situation. Uncertainty is part of life. It's the reason we get out of bed every morning - without that, life would be pretty dull !

The Monkey And The Sword Fighter

2010-05-25T05:45:00.000-07:00

Our minds have the capacity for different types of awareness. The thinking mind generates thoughts. This function of the brain can be quite distracting and overwhelming. It criticizes, holds grudges, pines for things to be other than what they are. The thinking mind conjures up images, either seductive or terrible, which cause us to be racked by fear or embarrassment, or which allow us to wallow in a false sense of security or despair. The undisciplined, thinking mind can run this way and that, chattering like a gaggle of baboons.

I do not mean to suggest that the thinking mind has no use; I imply simply that in its natural state, it is undisciplined and unfit to command our full attention. If we over-identify with our thinking mind, we risk placing a group of baboons in charge of the ship! This is not a good management decision! The Buddhists sometimes call the undisciplined thinking mind Monkey Mind.

Our thinking mind can be like a child – demanding thing, chattering, creating a scene for nothing. But as warriors we are more mature than this. Pain, frustration and discomfort mean nothing. Neither feeling demands a reaction. They simply are. We would not let a group of monkeys decide for us how to react to a crisis, so why would we allow Monkey-Mind to make our decisions? Indeed, a warrior is judged only by her actions; thoughts are merely that – air. They pass if we allow them to. It's best to not take them too seriously, or to over-identify with everything our thinking minds through up.

By contrast, the sword-fighter’s mind is clear like a ripple-less pool. Water symbolizes the warrior's mind; water is clear, calm, and reflects reality like a mirror; it obscures and taints nothing. Water moves and adapts endlessly. It flows around obstacles, supple and infinitely malleable. If we move our minds like water, we detach from outcomes, or ways of doing things. This is an incredibly powerful position.

Direct experience of reality allows us the sword-fighter’s plasticity: we do not need things to be this way or that. Reality is what it is. It is accessible to our perception, but sits behind the layer of interpretation our thinking minds would impose. Our job is simply to work with the state of affairs as is, turning a set of circumstances to our advantage.

A given situation has many different interpretations. Some interpretations are of greater advantage than others. Some ways of thinking create less stress, friction or resistance; they allow you to work your plan unhampered. Instead of being committed to one way of seeing things, why not open your awareness, seeking in a fluid way the interpretation that best fits your ends? Water finds the fastest point from A to B; why not let your mind work the same way?

We have a choice about how we focus our attention. That is, although Monkey-Mind may chatter all day long, nothing requires us to identify with this unfocused stream of thinking. We can acknowledge the thoughts and let them go.

How would you react if you had to sit in a room full of squabbling children? You would likely tune them out after a while, rather than listening to their petty stories. You can do the same with your thinking mind: you can let the thoughts be the background music. You can choose to identify instead with direct sensory experience. This gives space for an adaptive, peaceful and above all limpid relationship with reality.

“Stress happens when the mind resists what is” (Millman, 1992: 146). The warrior is able to gain power and minimize stress by eliminating resistance to what is.

The courageous or the loyal person is not one who feels no fear or no temptation. The courageous warrior; the loyal warrior feels fear and temptation, but does not act on empty thoughts. Thoughts are mere shadows on the wall of your life; empty paper tigers; once you see them as such, you gain power over them.

INTUITIVE INTELLIGENCE...

2010-05-24T10:44:00.001-07:00

Reposted from Arno Ilgner's Rock Climbing Blog
http://warriorsway.com/intuitive-intelligence/

Whether or not you are willing to fall off a route, and whether or not you actually will fall, are perhaps the most ongoing fundamental questions in rock climbing. The more clearly you understand and address these questions, the less confusion and fear will affect you while climbing. This process requires both analytical and intuitive intelligence. Assessing the falls you’ve experienced in the past utilizes your mind’s analytical intelligence.

You can quantitatively determine what type of routes you’ve fallen on, the distance of those falls, the angle of the rock, what obstacles were there, and how often you’ve fallen. You also know the type and grade of routes you’ve climbed without falling. This information results from your mind’s analytical intelligence applied in preparation. In contrast, weighing that information against the particular route you now face with the level of strength you now have is totally intuitive.-Intuitive intelligence isn’t a thinking process but rather a feeling process. No amount of justifying with your thinking mind to commit or retreat will help you determine whether or not you’re taking an appropriate risk. You can only rely on an intuitive feeling for determining appropriateness.

Analytical thinking alone will never tell you for sure if the decision to commit is appropriate. Millions of complex aspects must come together within your body and mind for each particular effort, that are too complex to analyze and think about to make a decision. You must take in all those aspects, meld them, weigh them, and then make a decision. This can only be done effectively by utilizing your mind’s intuitive intelligence.Whether or not you are willing to fall off a route, and whether or not you actually will fall, are perhaps the most ongoing fundamental questions in rock climbing.

The more clearly you understand and address these questions, the less confusion and fear will affect you while climbing. This process requires both analytical and intuitive intelligence. Assessing the falls you’ve experienced in the past utilizes your mind’s analytical intelligence. You can quantitatively determine what type of routes you’ve fallen on, the distance of those falls, the angle of the rock, what obstacles were there, and how often you’ve fallen. You also know the type and grade of routes you’ve climbed without falling. This information results from your mind’s analytical intelligence applied in preparation. In contrast, weighing that information against the particular route you now face with the level of strength you now have is totally intuitive.

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Intuitive intelligence isn’t a thinking process but rather a feeling process. No amount of justifying with your thinking mind to commit or retreat will help you determine whether or not you’re taking an appropriate risk. You can only rely on an intuitive feeling for determining appropriateness.

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Analytical thinking alone will never tell you for sure if the decision to commit is appropriate. Millions of complex aspects must come together within your body and mind for each particular effort, that are too complex to analyze and think about to make a decision. You must take in all those aspects, meld them, weigh them, and then make a decision. This can only be done effectively by utilizing your mind’s intuitive intelligence.

MMA and the End of the World ?

2010-05-22T20:59:00.000-07:00

UFC isn't necessarily the end of the world
By ALBERT NERENBERG, Freelance April 9, 2010

They say one sign society is going to hell in a handbag is the blood-spattered rise of mixed martial arts. Modern gladiator heroes pound each other to oblivion in what looks like no-holds-barred bare-fisted combat in a cage. People who watch an Ultimate Fighting Championship match like tomorrow's pay-per-view UFC 112 are often seen as apprentice cavemen or worse. Is it the end of civilization?

If so, it may be our fault.

On May 8, the UFC rolls into Montreal, a city that has been instrumental in the meteoric rise of mixed martial arts. Montreal set the record for the fastest UFC sellouts, and trains many top contenders.

Ontario bans the UFC, but Quebec has been key in foisting mixed martial arts - as well as Supertramp and the Backstreet Boys - on the world. We may now want to ask ourselves if it was a good idea. U.S. Senator John McCain doesn't think so. In 2006, he characterized mixed martial arts as "human cockfighting" in a bid to ban it. Milwaukee journalist Dave Begel famously opposed MMA when he came across it on TV.

"The other night, I was channel surfing and inadvertently saw the END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!" he wrote in OnMilwaukee.com. "This thing is proving to be very popular among men between the ages of 18 and 49. That doesn't give me much confidence in our future. ... Outlaw this abomination."

Some characterize mixed martial arts as the darker side of the zeitgeist. As the world perches on climate chaos and western economies seem to be steadily chucking people out of the middle class, it follows that survival-of-the-fittest spectacles arise.

Nonsense, says Joe Flanders, research director and psychologist at the Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Clinic at Montreal's Queen Elizabeth Health Complex: "Whatever the latest trend, there is always some critic who will announce we're declining."

Flanders, who studies play, says we're actually looking at the rise of a new sport with flaws and virtues like the others. In fact, most common theories about whether MMA is good or bad are hogwash.

Take the one proposed by many defenders: that MMA is an outlet for human aggression, a giant anger management system.

"The idea is that if we go and watch the UFC, we'll release some of our violent drives," Flanders said.

That's apparently bunk.

"The theory of release or venting has not been borne out empirically," he noted.

Despite its savage, bloody image, however, it's not clear that MMA is more dangerous than other contact sports.

"I got all my serious injuries playing basketball," said Terrie Schauer, a Montreal-based real estate agent who competes in female kickboxing and writes a blog about women in MMA, called Way of the Warrior Queen.

"I'm a normal girl. I like shoes. I'm not a violent person."

Serious injuries in MMA are far rarer than in hockey - which hasn't been banned, last time I checked.

The question of whether MMA promotes violence is a tough one. It celebrates human combat, but promotes martial arts, which often have pacifist, humanist philosophies.

Montreal's own Georges St. Pierre, UFC welterweight champion, claims he hasn't been in a street fight since childhood bullying inspired him to learn karate. This is typical of top MMA fighters who take the art in martial arts seriously. St. Pierre says his fight strategy is most heavily patterned after - of all things - chess.

The UFC uses instinctive fascination with violence to draw crowds, but the same can be said of the media.

According to Flanders, mixed martial arts is really a high-level form of rough and tumble play, the basic combat game most kids grow up with. Scientific evidence suggests this kind of thing makes kids smarter and actually teaches moral values, as physical combat must follow carefully prescribed codes, rules and limits.

"In some ways, it's actually about regulating aggressive behaviour," Flanders said.

Mixed martial arts may be threatening because it puts a frightening part of human nature on display. But step back and you may see the broader game and the positives that arise from sport - fitness, camaraderie, passion, discipline, meaning and entertainment.

While there is no doubt the UFC plays to our fighting instincts, it may not be the end of the world. It's the fact that we haven't figured out a way to similarly celebrate or compete over our powerful positive instincts that is the real shame.

Read more: http://www.montrealgazette.com/sports/necessarily+world/2780391/story.html#ixzz0oimwa6sg

MOTIVATION AND GOALS

2010-05-10T10:21:00.000-07:00

Reprinted from Arno Ilgner's Rock Climbing Blog
http://warriorsway.com/motivation-and-goals/

Motivation derives from the sense that you will “get something” from an experience. Motivation is the fuel that drives your effort and increases or diminishes depending on whether or not you feel you’ll attain your goal. There are two main types of goals: end goals and process goals. Your motivation will behave very differently under the stress of a climbing challenge depending on which type of goal you are working toward. Understanding this difference and using it is key in maintaining motivation to stay committed during challenging climbing.
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End goals are such external things as climbing harder grades or redpointing routes. Process goals are the skills you learn in the process of your external achievements, internal things such as the ability to commit more completely or fall more safely. If you’re motivated solely by end goals, then as stress and difficulty increase during a crux, you see less chance of attaining your goal. The stress stands between you and your goal. Since motivation derives from the anticipation of attaining a goal, when you begin to pump out, end-goal motivation will tend to diminish. You say, “Why bother? I know I’m too pumped to get to the top.”
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If, however, you are motivated by process goals, then as stress increases you see a greater chance of attaining your goal-—improved skills. Your motivation increases. As your strength fades, you say, “One more move is valuable, so do it.”
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Most climbers are motivated by both ends and processes. End goals pick the stage where you will perform. They involve routes you want to climb or places you want to arrive where you’ll be satisfied (comfortable). End goals are realized after stress. Process goals concern the quality of the performance. They involve skills you want to learn, or stressful situations that provide learning opportunities. Process goals are realized during stress.
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It’s important to have both type of goals and to set them up in the correct hierarchy. If you want to maximize your performance, make process goals primary and end goals secondary. This way, you will be primarily motivated to engage in climbing situations that are stressful, creating an opportunity to learn and improve. You are secondarily motivated to find the most comfortable way through the stressful situation and attain the end goal of a redpoint or on-sight. Think of end goals as tests of how well you have learned your process goals.
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As living beings, we feel truly alive when we grow. Grounding our motivation in growth, in the challenge and stress that will actually cause us to grow, fuels the whole process. The source of our power and the application of it are connected, allowing our power to flow from our ground, through our being, and into our effort, as we apply it on a route. Valuing growth keeps our motivation consistent and connected to its source.

Dave MacLeod on Echo WallMotivation derives from the sense that you will “get something” from an experience. Motivation is the fuel that drives your effort and increases or diminishes depending on whether or not you feel you’ll attain your goal. There are two main types of goals: end goals and process goals. Your motivation will behave very differently under the stress of a climbing challenge depending on which type of goal you are working toward. Understanding this difference and using it is key in maintaining motivation to stay committed during challenging climbing.

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End goals are such external things as climbing harder grades or redpointing routes. Process goals are the skills you learn in the process of your external achievements, internal things such as the ability to commit more completely or fall more safely. If you’re motivated solely by end goals, then as stress and difficulty increase during a crux, you see less chance of attaining your goal. The stress stands between you and your goal. Since motivation derives from the anticipation of attaining a goal, when you begin to pump out, end-goal motivation will tend to diminish. You say, “Why bother? I know I’m too pumped to get to the top.”

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If, however, you are motivated by process goals, then as stress increases you see a greater chance of attaining your goal-—improved skills. Your motivation increases. As your strength fades, you say, “One more move is valuable, so do it.”

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Most climbers are motivated by both ends and processes. End goals pick the stage where you will perform. They involve routes you want to climb or places you want to arrive where you’ll be satisfied (comfortable). End goals are realized after stress. Process goals concern the quality of the performance. They involve skills you want to learn, or stressful situations that provide learning opportunities. Process goals are realized during stress.

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It’s important to have both type of goals and to set them up in the correct hierarchy. If you want to maximize your performance, make process goals primary and end goals secondary. This way, you will be primarily motivated to engage in climbing situations that are stressful, creating an opportunity to learn and improve. You are secondarily motivated to find the most comfortable way through the stressful situation and attain the end goal of a redpoint or on-sight. Think of end goals as tests of how well you have learned your process goals.

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As living beings, we feel truly alive when we grow. Grounding our motivation in growth, in the challenge and stress that will actually cause us to grow, fuels the whole process. The source of our power and the application of it are connected, allowing our power to flow from our ground, through our being, and into our effort, as we apply it on a route. Valuing growth keeps our motivation consistent and connected to its source.

BUAKOW vs ZAMBETIS

2010-05-08T08:31:00.001-07:00

BOOK REVIEW: FIGHTER'S MIND - Inside the Mental Game

2010-04-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

By Sam Sheridan

I love this book. Really.
Not only did Sheridan do his homework in interviewing different fighters, but in recounting his interactions with them, he actually has a lot of good philosophical things to say. If you want a window into the fighter's world, this is a great book. If you're involved in the game yourself, you might even pick up some mental tricks to help you in the ring and in training !

One cool nugget of information as an example: Sheridan recounts two different cognitive approaches to losing and to failure. The "entity" approach is structured around the idea of natural talent. "Entity" boxers fall to pieces after a loss. As they believe their skills are given by nature, any threat to this - in the form of a real-world loss - means that there is something fundamentally wrong with their ability to win. Hard work is of no use to them mentally, as they believe they've encountered some flaw when they face a loss.

By contrast, the "incremental" approach can be expressed in the phrase: "It just wasn't my night". Boxers who think like this are able to return to the drawing board, and to go back to the gym to learn new skills. Because they take a loss as just that - an isolated incident - they are able to continue training and progressing; moving on to win another day.

In effect, by describing these different mindsets, it becomes possible to process losing more effectively.

So if you're looking for an interesting and not-too-difficult read, check out this book...

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

2010-04-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

re•spon•si•bil•i•ty •
having a duty to deal with something or having control over someone ∎ being accountable or to blame ∎ the ability to act independently and make decisions without authorization ∎ a thing one is required to do ∎ a moral obligation to behave correctly

Christopher Pinckley, personal trainer, life coach and writer of Reality Creation 101, describes what he calls victim consciousness. “When something didn’t go the way I wanted,” writes Pinckely. “Out came the pointer finger to find a reason for it. Mysteriously, the finger never seemed to point at me, it always pointed away from me… I was always able to find plenty of reasons in life why I couldn’t do what I said I wanted to do” (Pinckley, 2008: 70).

Victim consciousness arises whenever and wherever you mistakenly locate the center of power outside of yourself. Consider the following example. Someone has repeatedly taken advantage of you or takes you for granted. Perhaps they’ve broken appointments without calling or have built up your expectations, only to disappoint you. Your first impulse may be to get upset and think: “What does this always happen to me?” Red flag! “Why me?” is the prototypical victim question. It is the prelude to the moment when, in your mind, you start the videocassette of every time people have disappointed you.

Question: Does watching this film over and over make you feel any better? Most likely it makes you more dejected, and allows you to wallow in self-pity. You’ve placed yourself in the position of the victim.

Dr. Phil tells us: “We teach people how to treat us.” If you don’t like the way someone is behaving towards you, simply disallow that type of behavior. It is entirely within your power to refuse to see a person who fails to show respect. It is your right to demand – verbally –that you be treated in a certain way. In fact, once you begin to place people in contact with the consequences of their actions, they will be forced to reform or they’ll be removed from a position in which they can do you damage. In this way, you begin to take control of your life. If the offenders choose not to change, well then, you need to restrict their access to your time. In this way, you avoid being the outlet for other human beings’ bad behavior.

Why do you think it is important to take responsibility?

LOVE YOUR PATH

2010-04-14T06:35:00.001-07:00

--by Paolo Coelho (May 26, 2008)
reposted from
http://www.ijourney.org/?tid=570

1. The path begins at a crossroads. There you can stop and think what direction you want to take. But don’t spend too much time thinking or you’ll never leave the spot. Ask yourself the classic Carlos Castaneda question: Which of these paths has a heart? (…)

2. The path doesn’t last forever. It’s a blessing to travel the path for some time, but one day it will come to an end, so be prepared to take leave of it at any moment. (…)

3. Honor your path. It was your choice, your decision, and just as you respect the ground you step on, that ground will respect your feet. Always do what’s best to conserve and keep your path and it will do the same for you.

4. Be well-equipped. Carry a small rake, a spade, a penknife. Understand that penknives are no use for dry leaves, and rakes are useless for herbs that are deep-rooted. Know what tool to use at each moment. And take care of your tools, because they’re your best allies.

5. The path goes forward and backward. At times you have to go back because something was lost, or a message to be delivered was forgotten in your pocket. A well tended path enables you to go back without any great problem.

6. Take care of the path before you take care of what’s around you. Attention and concentration are fundamental. Don’t be distracted by the dry leaves at the edges. Use your energy to tend and conserve the ground that accepts your steps.

7. Be patient. Sometimes the same tasks have to be repeated, like tearing up weeds or closing holes that appear after unexpected rain. Don’t let that annoy you; it’s part of the journey. Even though you’re tired, even though certain tasks are repeated so often, be patient.

8. Paths cross. People can tell you what the weather is like elsewhere. Listen to advice, but make your own decisions. You’re responsible for the path entrusted to you.

9. Nature follows its own rules. You have to be prepared for sudden changes in the fall, slippery ice in winter, the temptations of flowers in spring, thirst and showers in the summer. Make the most of each of these seasons, and don’t complain about their characteristics.

10. Make your path a mirror of yourself. By no means let yourself be influenced by the way others care for their paths. You have your own soul to listen to, and the birds to whisper translations of what your soul is saying. (…)

11. Love your path. Without this, nothing makes any sense.

Fork in the Road - An Arno Ilgner Warrior Lesson

2010-04-12T07:01:00.000-07:00

Re-posted from Arno Ilgner's climbing blog...
http://warriorsway.com/yogi-berra/

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it" said Yogi Berra. This is an obvious comment about the need to make a choice. A fork is a split in our path that forces us to choose between those split paths. But, it is vague in helping us actually make that decision. Then again, it also makes us stop and contemplate what actually needs to be considered in order to make an appropriate decision.
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What do you consider when you come to a fork in the road?

The WARRIOR'S CHOICE

2010-04-08T13:25:00.000-07:00

Commit to yourself

The words responsibility and commitment get thrown around a lot. Be it in regards to relationships, to work, to the dog or the mortgage or to fighting, these heavy terms can be associated with the image of a ball-and-chain very quickly. Simply, commitment engenders responsibilities.

The bottom line for warrior's is the following: your first and primordial commitment - in fact the very symbol of living the warrior's life - is your commitment to yourself.
As for the rest, no one is holding a gun to your head.

Let me explain.
Committing to yourself means owning your reality. In the words of Dr. Phil - "Choose the behavior and you choose the consequences." Your health (to the extent that you influence it), your reactions to other people, your temper and generally what you choose to put out into the world are under your control.
You control your interpretations of events.
Once you realize this, it becomes impossible not to take responsibility for your "carbon-behavioral footprint" as it were.

As part of this commitment to yourself, you must learn to value your reputation and your word (for you only have one). You must value your physical body. And you must own what you - as a creature that treads this earth - puts out into public space. That goes for trash, for emotional garbage and reactions, and for judgments and so on.

Now - for everything else - be it the place you live, the relationships you maintain (or choose to let slide), your job, your mortgage, your pets and everything external -- these commitments and the responsibilities they engender are YOUR CHOICE. When you choose a job or a city or a marriage, you did so as a free adult. No one threatened you. No one held a gun to your head. As a result, you own the responsibilities that fall from the commitments you entered into freely. You don't "have to" do anything. You choose the life you live, each and every day.

When you shoulder the responsibilities of the life you have created - and you will find yourself tiring under the weight from time to time - recall that you entered into these moral contracts of your own accord. The financial, emotional and human repercussions of your engagements are of your own doing. And you choose to remain in these commitments every moment you continue to live them.

On the warrior's path there can be no escape from this. Consider that next time you find yourself saying: "I have to walk the dog" or "I have a mortgage so I can't..."
Remember it especially when you may be tempted to say: "That's just the way I am." No! You choose who you are. I repeat - there can be no escape from this. That's the basic consequence of committing to yourself and to the warrior's path.

INTERVIEWS WITH GEORGES ST-PIERRE

2010-03-31T12:45:00.000-07:00

Classy or classy ?

Some interesting thoughts on fighting and talking trash !

JUST SAY NO!

2010-03-22T08:03:00.001-07:00

Setting limits and being comfortable with saying "No!"

Hello there guilty feelings !
I am amazed by just how many people feel bad about refusing invitations, or resisting pressure from friends and family to do something.
You know what I'm talking about: Mum is pressuring you with phone calls three times a day. An acquaintance you don't even really like wants to spend time with you. Or maybe, when your friends propose a night out, you are defenseless in saying no even though you're drop-dead tired.

To this I have to say, there is no rule, no code of honor in life, which orders us to attend events we have no desire to go to or to cultivate relationships with people we do not feel good about.

Invited out by someone you don't like?
Be polite - sure. Be civil and respectful - of course. But by no means are you obligated in some moral way to encourage a relationship you have no desire for. In fact, it's actually probably a bad idea, because at some later date this person may insert themselves into your life in a problematic way, making demands on you that you have no desire for.

Don't feel like attending the latest shin-dig with your friends?
JUST SAY NO! Aside from birthdays or special events, where your presence is probably required to make your friends feel special, you are under no obligation to accept each and every invitation you come across.

I am a great believer in being honest with people. If you don't want to do something or go somewhere with someone - JUST SAY SO! Ultimately you're saving both of you time. Your long face won't do anyone any good, and your energy won't be in the right place if you don't feel like being there.

What is of more concern here is your god-given right to refuse whatever you think is not in your own best interest. Don't feel like going out with friends on a particular night? DON'T GO! Is family or your boss pressuring you to do something you feel isn't totally within the line of duty? SAY NO!

The word "No" is your right, and actually - learning to set limits with people will actually make you a happier, more balanced person. Then, when you give or say "Yes" to something, those actions really mean something. It means you are accepting because you really want to do something, not because you feel you have to.
To me, this is the real lesson to take away from your experience: the fact that you need to work on saying no.

If you are used to saying yes all the time, insert a moment of time between an offer and your response. Say: "Let me think about that. I'll let you know in 30minutes, 2 days, etc." Then you have time to think over "Do I really want to do this?". Do not say to yourself "I have to do this". That is a lie. We don't have to do anything in life. Everything, even work, chores and bedtime are our own choices. Sure - we weigh pros and cons (i.e. no work, no food in the fridge). But that decision is still ultimately ours to make. No one is holding a gun to your head.

Remember that next time you feel like an untrue "yes" is about to slip off your tongue!!

STRESS, OBSESS, BE PERFECT - Time Management or Perferctionism?

2010-03-17T06:08:00.000-07:00

Work harder or stop worrying - That is the question

Time management can be a a struggle for all of us at the best of times. But, it is actually amazing how often a tendency to worry or stress about things, may be at the root of feelings of time pressure.

Consider the following situation: you work part-time and you study and you train. You've also got a social life, friends to see, and a family to keep happy. Maybe there's a boyfriend you need to spend time with, or you're trying to find time to date. There's reading to catch up on, and Facebook, and and and...!
How are you going to fit it all in ?!?

Stop!
This spinny feeling where you start rattling off all your obligations, from exams to social life to family pressure is the first sign that you're lacking focus and most likely putting undue pressure onto yourself.

Ask yourself the following question: is there something in your life that is stressing you in particular? And up-coming exam? Are you not making enough money at work? Do you need to find a job? Do you have a big fight coming up?

Most likely, your anxious feeling that you don't have enough time comes from the fact that there's something you feel like you don't have a total handle on. You need to identify what this is (the exam, school, etc.) and make a plan of action. If the stressor is really important, you need to bump it to the top of your priorities list. Block off time every day to work on the issue. But be realistic - you probably don't need to spend every waking hour addressing this particular problem. And, if you feel like you do, you probably have an anxiety issue rather than a time-management one.

A couple of other recommendations. Get into a meditation or some kind of structured relaxation. The tendency to obsess is a kind of out-cropping of anxiety, and the more you get a handle on your feelings of worry, the less you will put pressure on yourself.

So - the first step - is to get a handle on the little obsession-hamster that is causing you to drive yourself too hard.

If time management really is the issue, note that it is important to block of chunks of time for specific activities. You'll want to draw up a schedule (nerdy, I know), and then make a rough estimate of what amount of time things should take you. This will help avoid procrastination, and also get you balancing family and other activities.

Good luck! And remember: feeling time pressure is very often a question of performance anxiety, rather than too few hours in the day. Address your tendency to stress out - calm your inner perfectionist - and you'll be on your way to feeling less hassled!

SOME GOOD FEMALE MUAY THAI HIGHLIGHTS...

2010-03-16T09:03:00.001-07:00

A NEW PART OF THE JOURNEY

2010-03-10T13:33:00.000-08:00

Letting go of limitations + giving up expectations

Beginning something new, like attacking something old with new motivation, can be tricky in terms of what baggage we bring to the experience. As a white belt, on your first day of class, you maybe thought you weren't very sporty, or you felt uncomfortable - self-conscious for not knowing what to do. Maybe you came from another sport, and arrived with cockiness, thinking: "I'm stronger and fitter than anyone here."

Either way, no matter what we do, we arrive in a room with the expectations, baggage and already-cooked ideas about ourselves and the world.

You know the expression: "You can't outrun the past" ?
This is certainly applicable. Very often, when people flee contexts or situations, they are quick to repeat the same patterns elsewhere, importing bad habits or problem-thoughts along with them.

So what's a good way of dealing with these unwanted guests; the expectations, the back-pack full of "I can'ts" and the self-sabotaging dialogue?

Beginning anew is a super place to examine the structured narratives we've become used to. In fact, it is interesting to pay attention to the dialogue that goes on in our heads when we attempt something. Are we nervous? Do we think we'll be up to the challenge? Are we - already - at the starting gate - taking ourselves into failure with statements like "This is too hard" or "I'll never succeed"?

A new challenge is just that - a new day, untainted by everything else that has come before it. At least, that is reality. What we see in our minds may be something completely different. Thus, the shape an event takes in our spirits is an indication of what we believe to be true about ourselves, not an absolute truth about the state of the universe. The road is open. But do we see it that way?

Perhaps the best way to approach a new challenge is just in this way: realizing that you've been given a new day, whatever it may be. Be thankful for this chance. But be aware also as you fight through the discomfort of learning, that you may be limited by preconceptions about your own (dis)ability. Remember: your potential for rising to this occasion is structured by your capacities today, not last week, or last month, or when you were ten years old and your teacher told you you weren't any good at math!

Have the courage to begin anew and to let go - as best you can - the things you've been telling yourself in another life, in another context. These old narratives are of no use. Especially if you seek a different result!

SOME THOUGHTS ON HAPPINESS

2010-03-04T05:59:00.000-08:00

A BIRTHDAY THANK YOU...

2010-03-03T07:52:00.000-08:00

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to...

I'm 32 years old today. And a birthday is as good a time as New Year's to reflect on getting what you want, and wanting what you've got.

I'm 32 years old today, and I want to say thanks to the universe for this one chance; for this one life I've been given. I want to say thanks for the great, awesome, positive people that surround me. Like Moses out of the desert, I lived 2 years in exile - away from my friends and family - and I am so incredibly thankful that life has brought me back home where I belong. I feel like I've been given a second chance at happiness.

There's not a lot of money in my bank account, but I'm as rich as any girl can be. I've got a tank full of gas, coffee in the pantry and tofu in the fridge. I've got the best, warmest, cosiest bed in the world. And my house? You should see it. There's no fancy furniture inside and my TV is from the stone age, but I've got two guinea pigs that wake me up every morning with "pouik pouik" and I've got a yard full of sunshine, high ceilings and hardwood floors. It's my home. I have a home!

My car is missing the passenger side mirror, but it runs and it's blue and it's my first car that's been with me forever.

And you know what else? I'm my own boss now. I get up when I want. Nobody tells me what to do, or how high to jump, or when my vacation is. I'm so glad I've made it here. All the money in the bank and all the security in the world isn't worth this freedom. I'm finally free.

My body is healthy.
Every day I get to put on my gloves and box - in fact - I can box so much that there are days when I'm too tired to even go to the gym. Some days I even go twice. I can kick and run and punch my little heart out all day long if I am so inclined. And around me are other people who understand this strange love; this strange addiction.

I'm 32 years old today, and I've got everything I need. Thanks, universe - for this chance. Thanks guys, for everything. It's spring in Montreal, and spring in my heart.

BEGINNER'S MIND -- ON HOW TO KEEP LEARNING

2010-03-02T13:25:00.000-08:00

The minute you get good at or even accustomed to a task or game, it becomes hard to maintain the type of open mind that's good for learning. If you think back to your first martial arts class, or the first time you did something you had no idea how to do, you'll remember how unsure and open your mind felt. Think of the first day of school: you were seeing everyone for the first time and taking in a whole lot of information, just because you didn't have any snap reactions or judgements in place.

Our minds are not good at maintaining this open space, though. I am willing to bet that even after a few classes, you stopped noticing things and/or stopped processing all the information available to you.

As we get good at training or sparring in a particular sport, we also lose this plasticity of beginner's mind. We lose the ability to easily modify our behaviours. We react on cue in predictable ways.
Of course, if you think of boxing, this is part of getting good. Your jab is a finely tuned machine or your bob-and-weave almost does itself. But when you encounter a new opponent - either more or less skilled - or a new training partner, you're forced to re-evaluate.
You find yourself once again in beginner's mind. Your old tricks don't work and you must develop new ones. It is not comfortable.

But this is an incredibly rich place to be. For all learning - if it means new understandings or new skills - comes from a place of uncertainty. Where there is habit and stagnation there is comfort. Where there are new problems and new information; that is where you learn.

For this reason, it's important to seek out situations in which you might feel unstable and uncertain. And when you find yourself off balance, don't bemoan your safe haven where everything you know is mapped. Remember your first day in the gym or your first day as a white belt. When you were all knees and elbows you weren't afraid to look ridiculous. You didn't expect to know all the moves or to have to impress anyone.

Cultivate beginner's mind - it's the best way to learn !

Resistance and Acceptance - By Arno Illgner

2010-03-01T05:58:00.000-08:00

Re-printed from Arno's Blog
On Rock Climbing - but applicable to lots of other situations...

We all tend to resist stress. To begin overcoming this tendency, admit that stress is a normal and desirable part of climbing. Accept this not just philosophically but in practice. When you encounter a stressful situation, accept the stress and explore its details. Accepting stress will help you see a situation as it is and avoid the distracting tricks your mind plays to satisfy its desire for comfort.
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Acceptance does not equal resignation. It means simply that you avoid wishful thinking and illusions, and focus on gathering useful information about the challenge before you. Saying, “I wish these holds were bigger,” is an expression of resistance. It will not make the holds grow or help you use them. Saying, “I hope there’s a hold up there,” will not create a hold or help you respond if there isn’t one. Saying, “If only I wasn’t so pumped,” will not re-energize your forearms or help you find the least strenuous path through the crux.
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If your attention is engaged in resisting stressful facts, wishing or hoping the situation was different, then it isn’t fully present for gathering information to prepare for the risk. Later, when you begin moving again, if you resisted stressful facts, your actions won’t be deliberate.

AGGRESSION AND FIGHTING OUTSIDE THE RING

2010-02-28T07:05:00.000-08:00

It's not always to follow Mister Myagi's advice about using your skills wisely

This topic isn't very fun, but I also think it is very necessary.

As fighters, we spend several hours a week training in striking or otherwise physically dominating other people. It's controlled, it's a game almost - most of the time. But we're nonetheless conditioning ourselves. Very often, we spar until we are exhausted. Other fighters hit us when we've got no resources left. Train hard and long enough and you will develop a "fight mode" mental space in which you can push yourself beyond your normal limits. This mental space becomes a place where go when you are pushed - physically and mentally - beyond what you could normally endure.

That's very good for fighting, sparring and training; it's not so good in the extreme circumstances of real life.

The reality of conditioning your mind into "fight mode" is that when and if you feel pushed beyond your limits, the conditioned reaction can be one of violence and dominance. You probably realize that your training makes you stronger and more dangerous than most people, and that with these skills comes responsibility; but trying to compute that when you're in an emotionally extreme situation can be a challenge.

You're conditioning yourself to punch when there's no gas left in the tank. You're conditioning yourself to keep going when the person in front won't let up even though you hardly have the energy to keep your hands up. That's extreme.

You should not be surprised if - when you get pushed emotionally - some of these coping mechanisms want to come out.

Once you realize what's at work, though, it becomes easier to contain a potentially aggressive reaction. If you feel pushed beyond your emotional limits, get physically out of the situation. Walk away. Tell the other person to get out of your space. Basically insert some distance between yourself and the stimulus. Breathe. Try to remember that as a fighter, you have the responsibility not to use your skills outside of the training context.

Of course, the most important thing is not to direct physical aggression at others. If you feel like you've been pushed to far and the impulse to violence is too strong, redirect it. Run or do some sort of physical activity to dissipate the negative energy. If you absolutely need to strike something, pick a convenient inanimate object - a sofa, a pillow, a car seat or some other cushioned surface. Holes in walls and broken hands are not especially good results of an outburst.

This is probably the most important lesson little fighters. Realize: with enhanced power comes the weight of responsibility. Just as you won't beat up a beginner in her first sparring session, so you mustn't give in to a violent reaction in the real world - no matter how far you might be pushed. As someone who plays the dominance game on a regular basis, it's your job to manage such reactions.

EARNESTO HOOST HIGHLIGHTS...

2010-02-19T06:20:00.000-08:00

Coz they're so fun to watch!!

NOT SURE WHAT I THINK OF THIS...

2010-02-19T06:16:00.000-08:00

"You got to want to get out of the environment you're in. That's what makes a good fighter..."

I heard this in an interview on TV the other day... not sure if I believe it. Any comments?

MY NEW FAVORITE SONG...

2010-02-14T16:38:00.001-08:00

CRAVINGS BY ANY OTHER NAME..

2010-02-10T11:01:00.000-08:00

And I don't meant for strawberry ice cream...

It's pretty important to learn to differentiate between cravings and needs. Not that it's especially hard to tell the difference. It's just that in our everyday language and in our minds, we often lose touch with the distinction.

Let me give you an example.

Hungry? Really, really hungry? That's a need. Thirsty? Same thing - that's a need. Tired, sore, injured? Same thing! The needs for rest, recovery and sleep are real! They're not just passing ideas in our heads. Athletes often forget this, ignoring the body's warning signs.
Although coffee, willpower and just plain pig-headedness will keep you going for a while, you use these methods at your own peril. If you're tired you NEED rest. Period. An injured body needs to be protected and healed.
Needs are most often physical, and we do well to respect them. Your training days will be numbered or your performance compromised otherwise!

Now, cravings are a whole other matter, and should be dealt with differently.
Can't get your mind off the last two cookies waiting for you in the box? Or sick of your small-screen TV? Itching to step in the ring, but not sure where your next fight's gonna come from?

These scenarios are clearly cravings; and while you might say or think: "Wow! I need money right now!" There better be no roof over your head or no gas in your car, because otherwise you've just confused a craving with a need.

Alright, so now that the difference between need and craving is clear, how can you deal with cravings - because - let's be honest - they're neither pleasant nor easy to resist!

The best thing is to identify whatever you're obsessing about as a craving. Once that's done, distance yourself from the thoughts by saying: "Wow! I'm really having a nicotine-fit for that thing right now... isn't that funny / interesting / lame..."

Once you've identified the feeling as a craving, it becomes way easier to just let the burning sensation alone - just let it sit there. It will decrease, I promise! Cravings have a shelf-life that is actually amazingly short. If you distract yourself for as little as 5 minutes, chances are your burning desire will have evaporated. There are, of course, no guarentees that the sucker won't come back. But then, you'll know how to face him the next time!

One more thing - What you want to avoid is jumping up immediately to scratch the itch, especially if the results of the scratching will resemble the result of a mosquito bite. Save yourself the 10 more minutes of intense intense itching - it's not worth 30 seconds of relief!

CAPUCINE PAUCHET - Trained by Miriam Lamarre

2010-02-10T08:56:00.000-08:00

Capucine's video appeal to help her become world champion...

"Et si parfois les coups de poings déforment les visages, ils n'entament jamais la beauté de l'âme"

"Toujours se relever si l'on vous met à terre"

"La tête est forte, le corps est fort"

MT Fight Video - Joanna Jedrzejczyk

2010-02-04T19:17:00.000-08:00

Arno Ilgner's Lesson - Expect to Prepare

2010-02-01T05:47:00.000-08:00

Re-printed from Arno Ilgner's Blog
Please check out his site at www.warriorsway.com

Preparation

We've learned that the mind avoids stress, seeks comfort, and plays tricks to skirt stress. Knowing these mental tendencies allows us to notice when tricks occur, stop such thought processes, and redirect attention in ways to deal with the stress. Recall that learning is converting something stressful into something that becomes comfortable. This conversion cannot occur if we give into the mind's tricks to skirt stress.
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In The Journeys of Socrates, Dan Millman describes the learning process that Socrates goes through. Serafim, one of his teachers, teaches Socrates the art of fighting and how expectations can interfere with preparation and action. Serafim's teachings on expectations are similar to the story of the old master teaching the art of fencing. The master tells the student to do her daily chores and be prepared to respond to attacks whenever and wherever they occur.
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The student might be going around a corner expecting the attack to come from the front so she prepares for it, yet the attack comes from behind. She goes around another corner expecting the attack to come from behind and gets attacked from the front. The student is in a constant state of tension and expectation. This tension and expectation interferes with her ability to prepare for an attack that comes from any direction.
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When the student expects an attack from one direction, her attention is directed only there. Meaning, she can't be attentive to all directions. When she learns not to expect an attack from any particular direction she is attentive to all directions. Serafim instructs Socrates similarly to "Expect nothing, but be prepared for anything." This is really a metaphor for being attentive to everything that is important in a given situation without allowing expectations to narrow our focus. By eliminating expectations we can focus attention on preparing for any possible outcome. With expectations we miss important elements in our preparation.
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In climbing we need to prepare well so we can take appropriate risks. We need to expect nothing, yet be prepared for anything. How can we do effective preparation if we don't expect anything? We can also rephrase this question by asking: How can we do effective preparation if we do expect something? Either question will shed light on the role of expectations on effective preparation. So, what are your thoughts on this?
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Please post your comments on Arno's Blog.

Practical Application Tip - Objective Preparation
Expectations are created when the mind digs into your past memories or into future desired outcomes. Memories and desires cause you to see risks subjectively instead of objectively. "The climbing above looks hard" is a subjective way of evaluating the risk. "Hard" is a judgment based on memories from your past. "The climbing above is 10-degrees overhanging with positive one-finger-pad holds" is an objective way of evaluating the risk. It isn't based on any "hard" or "easy" experiences you've had in the past.
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To prepare well, then, means you need to keep attention in the present so you can see details of the risk as accurately as possible. You do this by looking at the risk objectively (what you see in the present), without labeling it subjectively (based on past or future).

THE LAW OF NO CONTROL

2010-01-30T06:32:00.001-08:00

Why our desire for control can be counter-productive

The Buddhists say it's not a good idea to try and control things. They say that if you "cling" to specific outcomes or try to force people, events or things to conform to exactly what you want, that you'll actually cause yourself to suffer. Trying too hard is a bit like swimming against the current.

Ok - but this presents a bit of a problem. You're in the world, trying to get what you want, trying to surpass yourself and bring about a future you'd like to live in. You're trying to enjoy yourself, all the while following whatever it is you dream about. It's normal in this mindset to feel attached to the "fruition" of your projects.

Got a big fight coming up? Of course you want to win!
Trying to make the last spot on a team? Or place yourself well in a certain opportunity?
Trying to get an event together? To make move at work? Or to get a special someone to notice you?
Sure you're going to be emotionally involved with what happens in the endeavors you've care about. That's maybe the definition of living the life you want!

The thing is though - and here's where the Buddhists are kinda right - you never know when success is going to hit you, nor failure for that matter.

Very often, there's a kind of numbers game going on. You can still do everything right, and yet not come away with the result you wanted. Job interviews are a lot like this. So is dating. Even though you play your cards to the best of your ability, every shot is just NOT going to be a winner.
That's how it goes!

And the more you get worked up about a particular defeat or missed opportunity, the more you clog up your mental head-space and distract attention from what's really important: playing the game to the best of your ability.

The only thing you do control is your own preparation, and your reaction to a particular outcome. You can't control what the world does and doesn't give you.

If you feel like your performance in some way caused a defeat or a failure, work at bettering it. But realize also that even if you perform "perfectly", the world just isn't programmed to give you want you want every time!

Yet, you can be sure that statistically the more you play, the more you win. If you really want something, it's important to keep putting yourself in situations where that thing can happen. But if one opportunity doesn't go as you'd like - fine! So what? There are other opportunities. Your job is now to look for them.

If life is a numbers game, and only one time out of ten is really a winner, you've now only got nine tries left to go!

DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO SOMETHING? ASK SOMEONE WHO DOES !!

2010-01-25T12:34:00.000-08:00

You're only ever 5 phone calls away from a great plan!

Every so often you find yourself trying to do something you have NO idea how to do. Maybe you want to change careers. Maybe you want to move your fight game to the next level. Or maybe you want to take a stab at a new activity, publish a book, write an article, start a rock band or breed dogs!

Whatever the challenge, the best solution when you're not sure what the next steps are is to ask someone who's where you want to be.
This is easiest when someone in your entourage has the experience you want to get at. More often than not, though, especially when the challenge is a big one - no one you know will be able to help you out with advice.

Here's where you need to be a networking McGyver!

I'm guessing you already know the people in your field who you are where you want to be. Got a favorite author? Fighter? Singer? Dancer? Doctor?
What to do just what they're doing?

Call them up ! Or email them !

There's a great story floating around about a college professor who asked a freshman class to get an interview with anyone they consider famous. There were 1000 people in the class. The students had 1 month to complete the interview.
The prof offered a reward of 750$ - a lot of money to a bunch of freshmen !!

How many people actually completed the challenge?

None.

Why? Because they believed they couldn't. No one even went so far as to look up their hero on Facebook!

Yet, in the age of electronic media, nothing is so simple as getting in touch with people. You'd be surprised. The expert in your area might just answer your message out of Cyber space. And you know what else? If one expert doesn't reply, there are 4 others who will !

So, make it your mission to find 5 people who are doing exactly what you would like to be doing eventually. Then, get on the phone or on email and ask to meet or speak with them. (If they are in another city it may be best to talk on the phone or over video conference via Skype). You must ask them how they got where they are. You want to get enough information that you can effectively reverse-engineer their path and put yourself there!

This may also be your opportunity to check in and see whether theirs is really the life you want. What's involved in publishing, fighting or being in a rock band? What are their hours like? Are there constraints or advantages?
Don't overlook anything. Fact-finding missions like these are a great way to know what you're in for before you actually commit to anything.

Once you know how someone else did what you want to do, the only thing left is to get cracking!

I always tell myself: "So-and-so did it, and she's dumber than me and lazier !"
What are you waiting for??

TO QUIT OR NOT TO QUIT...

2010-01-19T14:29:00.001-08:00

When is giving up a problem and when is it just good sense?

Everyone knows the old adage: "Quitters never win."
So we've all conditioned ourselves with the slogan "Never give up" or "Never quit".
But it's important to be clear about when you're banging your head against a brick wall (a good activity to quit!) and when what you're doing is productive.

Because after all, if you're doing something that is bad or hurtful for you, it's probably best to stop. If, on the other hand, quitting is an easy way out of a situation from which you could learn something, you might want to cultivate gumph!

The "being a quitter" rule - I think - only really applies if you are doing something you REALLY want to be doing or for which you desire a result. For example, if you've sat and had a long think and decided on wanting to study a certain thing, or if you've invested time into a relationship - it's not the first exam or the first fight that should send you running.
It's important to learn to stick to things that are important to. Learning to over-come obstacles is a vital skill.

Also, even in a venture that might ultimately lead to failure, it is possible to learn a lot. Quitting prematurely can isolated you from valuable learning experiences.

But there's no point applying stick-with-it-ness to a situation that smells like fish from the get-go. For example, if you boyfriend beats you, QUIT. If your boss stops paying you or harasses you, QUIT. If your training partners or coach is aggressive with you, QUIT.
If you find yourself in an unproductive situation that is sapping your energy and ISN'T TAKING YOU WHERE YOU WANT TO GO - QUIT !

And don't think twice!

You're only a quitter if you give up on something that you want or that is good for you. If you quit get out of a bad situation you're just smart!!

I think the new slogan should be: "Quitters never win, but idiots never get anywhere either"! If you gut or your friends tell you it's time to get out, you might want to consider the "Never quit" rule !!

Mind Tricks - An Arno Ilgner Warrior Lesson

2010-01-18T11:17:00.001-08:00

Mind Tricks
by Arno Ilgner
Please visit Arno's blog at www.warriorsway.com

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Your mind will always look for ways to avoid discomfort or circumvent stress. It will seek to eliminate fear or climb the next grade without doing the required work. Your mind will do anything it can to keep from being fully present for the stress that is inherent in a climbing challenge. Even some common, well-accepted calming tactics are examples of this tendency to escape. For example, many people listen to music when exercising, stretching, warming up, or practicing. Some climbers even listen to music when redpointing a route. Doing this may calm and focus your mind, but it's a short-term solution. If you want to realize your full potential, you will need to come face-to-face with the stress generated in the climbing experience. The only way to do this is to be present for it. By distracting your mind with calming "tricks," you allow your mind to evade the growth process. If you use a trick to skirt the growth process, you don't really grow; you just find a way to ignore the stress. Tricks can produce short-term ends, but they won't help you learn. Learning is the means that allows you to reach your full potential.
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Labeling outcomes is another limiting tendency of the mind. Your mind tends to label completing a route as good and successful. When you fall off a route, however, your mind tends to label it bad or failure. Doing this takes attention off the learning process and allows your mind to wallow in the trappings that come along with the label. You're either lost in the label of success and therefore lose sight of what you actually did to create that outcome, or you're lost in the label of failure instead of exploring what actually happened to cause the fall. When you operate from awareness, you are curious about what happened right at the moment you let go. Yes, not when you fell but when you let go. What thought was in your mind when you separated from the rock? Did your body or your mind let go? You don't know exactly, and labeling it as failure won't help you find out. If you keep your attention on how much your mind contributed to separating you from the rock, then you'll stay excited about the climbing process and won't allow your mind to trick you into hiding behind the comfort of a label.
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All-or-nothing thinking is another tendency of the mind. When you push yourself on grades that are outside your comfort zone, your mind will resist by creating thoughts to lure you into escaping, or finishing quickly. Your mind seeks the greater comfort before or after the stress and wants to either rush through to the end when the stress is over (all), or not engage the challenge at all (nothing).
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Understand and remember that these ignoring, labeling, and all-or-nothing tendencies are your mind's natural inclination. Simply identify these thoughts when they happen, and use your awareness to deal with them.
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Labeling an outcome distracts attention from the learning process. Use this exercise to catch yourself when labeling so you can redirect attention to learning.
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1. Make notes that say: "good/bad" and "success/failure."
2. Put these notes on your computer, your car's steering wheel, your bathroom mirror, anyplace where you spend a lot of time during a given day.
3. Set an intention that you will catch yourself (notice) when you use these words.
4. When you catch yourself, ask: "What do I mean by 'good' 'failure' etc?"
5. Spend a moment to assess what lies below that word. I think you'll find that the word points to whether or not the situation or outcome makes you comfortable.
6. Lastly, redirect attention to rephrasing what you said without using those words.

WITHOUT SUSPICION OR HATRED...

2010-01-14T18:40:00.000-08:00

"In the ring, our opponents can gouge us with their nails or butt us with their heads and leave a bruise. But we don't denounce them for it or get upset with them or regard them from then on as violent types. We just keep our eye on them... Not out of hatred or suspicion. Just keeping a friendly distance. We need to do that in other areas. We need to excuse what our sparring partners do and just keep our distance--without suspicion or hatred"
- Marcus Aurelius

In our travels, as fighters and as human beings, we will meet other persons working at cross-purposes from us. In the ring, these encounters are very raw and easy to identify. For example, a training partner may want to prevent us from getting the upper hand in sparring or an opponent in a match may show us no mercy. As we work for our own interest, these battles necessarily lead us into conflict with others.

Nonetheless, it is quite useless to involve your ego in such situations. Taking conflict personally - ninety percent of the time - causes you to waste energy on psychologising an opponent who has no real psychic investment in the situation that is causing you grief.

When a conflict situation arises, it is vital not to take things personally. In the ring, you try to knock out the fighter in front of you. You are not considering that the girl in the other corner may be someone's girlfriend or daughter. You are not engaged with the fact that handing this person a loss may affect their mood or emotional system for weeks to come.

No - quite simply you are engaged in a scenario where all that matters is the objective (winning) for which both of you strive. To attain that goal you must go through the fighter that stands before you. And so you act on the person as you would on a object, moving, displacing or countering them as best you can to attain your goal. You have no personal battle with them. Instead, what the two of you have is a battle of position, or of opposing desires.

Conflicts in life often aren't that different. With co-workers or in a relationship, our goals are often as cross-purposes from the people we interact with. As a result, humans act out all sorts of behaviors that seem unfair, inconsiderate and/or inexplicable. In fact, it's entirely possible to spend the better part of your waking life psychoanalyzing the deep reasons for these frustrating behaviors (I am willing to bet that you most likely have a friend who does this as a favorite hobby)!!

But the temptation to delve in this way is a red herring. The twists and turns of another person's psyche are forever beyond our grasp, especially if we're dealing with a person with whom we have little intimate contact. Lack of information makes analysis exceedingly difficult and subject to flaw. Additionally, to give this amount of attention to an issue actually feeds it, making is seem more important than it actually is.

A more effective way of dealing with frustrating behaviors can simply be to treat the behavior without psychologising the actor. Whether someone meant to hurt your feelings, knock you out, or give you a sense of rejection is really beside the point. Ninety percent of the time, the person in front of you acts upon you as a cut-out at any rate, and does not treat you as an individual.

It is best, then, to simply "keep distance without suspicion or hatred", and understand that we have likely acted on others in similar ways in the past, leaving a trail of hard to interpret and hurtful behavior in our wake. Once someone gouges at you, mentally head-butts you or acts with some sort of incivility towards you, simply place them in "quarantine", and keep your distance.

In this way, you prevent their behavior from affecting you in the future. You also conserve valuable resources by not engaging in an emotional battle, where one is unnecessary. An inordinate amount of human behavior is actually very impersonal. But, because we take things personally, we fail to see the impersonal nature of others' motivations.

FIGHTER INTERVIEW - Casey Bohrman

2010-01-07T11:05:00.000-08:00

FIGHTER BIO
Age - 29
Fighting weight - 137
Record - 7-4
Titles - Shin Do Kumate Middle Weight Champion, USKA middle weight champion
Contact to book fights : rigelcoolheart@hotmail.com
Link to promotional or gym website: http://www.phillymma.com/

Where does your motivation for fighting come from? What makes you want to fight and train?

I fight because of the mental and physical challenges it presents. There is nothing like getting in a ring and pushing yourself to your mental and physical limits. The training is even tougher. I do it because I love muay thai and fighting is largely about bringing honor to the camp by going good muay thai.

What does being a “warrior” mean to you? Do you have a specific image of yourself as a fighter or as a person?

A warrior is a person with a strong heart. In Thai they call it Gamlang jai. Warriors are people who will not let themselves be defeated regardless of the outcome in the ring. They fight until they can't. And then they keep fighting. I'm a fighter who tries (though I'm not always successful) to enjoy myself in the ring. People frequently comment on how much I'm smiling before and even during the fight. It's a real privilege to fight and I always try to keep that in mind.

How has the mindset you developed in fighting made it easier for you to exceed your limits in the rest of your life?

I get very anxious about fighting. I'm never afraid of getting hurt, but I get nervous that I won't fight up to my potential. My anxiety will get so bad that I think of backing out. I come up with elaborate plans to leave the country or find other ways to get out of fighting. However, in my five years of fighting I have never backed out of a fight. Knowing that quitting is not an option forces me to continue despite nearly disabling fear of failure. Very few other experiences compare to the challenge of fighting. I try to keep that in mind when I face difficult situations.

What have you learned through fighting that has helped you become more effective, balanced or happy in your life?

Fighting has taught me to focus on one thing and excel at it. I've always been a person with diverse interests who likes to stay busy. At one point I was volunteering, doing prisoner activism, working a few jobs, going to school and training muay thai. I loved everything I was doing, but couldn't put my full effort into any one thing. With fighting you have to dedicate yourself 100% or you just shouldn't do it. I figured out that I would rather simplify my life and focus on the few things that matter than spread myself too thin.

What advice would you have for other women looking to get into or excel at your
sport?

We need more women to get involved so that the sport can grow. Most of the female fighters I know have a lot of trouble finding fights because there are so few of us out there. Fighting is not for everyone, but you won't know if you're a fighter until you train and actually get into the ring. Most female fighter I know got into the sport for fitness, fell in love and realized that they were fighters.

Warrior's Way eLesson - Who Am I?

2010-01-05T10:44:00.000-08:00

By Arno Ilgner
Check out Arno's Blog + his latest book
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This lesson addresses what we can and can't control when it comes to the mind, and helps us ponder the question: "Who am I?" Some believe they are their thoughts and therefore can control them. This is an important topic because if we try to control something that we cannot control, then we use attention poorly. If we cannot control our thoughts then what can we control? How about attention!
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I must admit that the first time I heard that attention is all we can control, it shocked me. I had never considered that. It felt a little threatening because I've been so identified with thinking being my essence. I didn't realize there is awareness behind it, which essentially is the source of attention.
Please post questions and comments on "Arno's Blog."
Arno

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Your mind is where thinking occurs. But there is a part of you that is aware of the thinking. The essence of who you are and where you need to operate from, is that part. It is awareness. Awareness is the field or space where thinking can take place.
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You can focus awareness on what you intend to do. This is attention: the intentional directing of awareness. Attention is really all you can control. The physical characteristics of the route, and even internal processes within you, are out of your control. Even thinking is out of your control. All you can really do is direct attention to manipulate your thinking. For instance, you can focus attention on obstacles and difficulties, and defeat your effort before you even begin. Or, you can focus attention on possibilities, and helpful "possibility thoughts" are generated. This is how biofeedback works for other bodily processes. By focusing attention on slowing your heart rate, for example, it slows down.
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If you don't operate from awareness, you get lost in thinking. You will think about skirting stressful situations and seeking comfort. Your mind's comfort-seeking tendency will direct how your attention is utilized. Instead of letting your mind have its way, you need your attention to direct your mind's thinking processes.
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Beliefs, values, and prejudices are all wrapped up in how you think. These concepts are dear to you and make you feel secure. To consider that they are "not you" is threatening.
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But fear lies within those thinking processes. This fear is not a logical, intelligent caution in the face of danger, but rather simple fear of the unknown. To break free from this fear you need to see thinking as something you do, not something you are, or even something you completely control. All you can control is how you focus attention. Fear is about what might happen, not what is happening. And "what might happen" originates not from the situation, but from your thinking mind. When you operate from awareness instead of your thinking mind, there is no space for fear.
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Understanding the difference between thinking and awareness is the foundational step to increasing mental fitness. Your essence is awareness, and if you operate from that essence you feel a power that the mind's thinking processes can never attain.
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Please post your comments on Arno's Blog.
Practical Application Tip - Meal Time
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To develop awareness of how little control you have over thinking, do this exercise:
1. During a meal, begin eating and think ONLY of what you are doing.
2. Notice when other thoughts occur unrelated to eating your meal.
3. Evaluate how much volition you had in creating those other thoughts.
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Debrief
Perhaps you found random thoughts come up without you intending them? How is it that thoughts can be created AND THEN you become aware of them? The mind is busy thinking of all we need to do. Thinking of just one task can create anxiety in the mind because it has a "to do" list to accomplish. It wants you to hurry up with that meal and move on to the next task.
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Please post comments and questions on: Arno's Blog.

LIFE'S A MESS - Now what?

2010-01-01T17:59:00.000-08:00

Does your life feel like it looks like this?

Life is complicated. Even if you're conscious, aware and relatively high-functioning, human beings are complicated and multi-faceted. They often say one thing and do another. They might believe something one day and change their opinions the next. Phases of life change. Contexts change. All of these outputs of our existence are messy.

To try to make sense of life's complications it's easy to be tempted into black-and-white thinking. We easily divide actions into right and wrong. We tend to see people as good or bad. We might even judge our own selves according to these standards.

The bottom line, however, is that life is and can get very messy, hairy, and disorganized. Things don't go as planned. Toes - or whole feel - get stepped on. We may cry, lose our tempers or simply hurt people through inattention.

What's to be done about this?

Inhabit the mess!
That's not to say it's wise to cultivate drama or to allow situations - deliberately or out of moral laziness - to degenerate. But when you're trapped in the middle of an honest-to-goodness mess, sometimes it's best just to let it be.

Your best allies at these times are a good dose of humour and a sense of wonder. There's nothing like having a good laugh at yourself - or anyone else - who helped create a particularly twisted web. Personally, I find it cathartic to tell anyone who will listen about the foolish things I've done and the messes I've created. If you can't fix something, it's better to laugh than cry about it.

Your sense of wonder will also come in handy! Any situation, no matter how hairy, has something remarkable about it - something poignant.

So before you are harsh with yourself and get out the garbage bags and cleaning products, just let the mess be there for a minute. It is - afterall - no less glorious than all of the other things we humans create for ourselves. And a spectacular mess is just that - spectacular. Value it for that reason, and because it can be humbling to see that - despite all efforts to the contrary - life can be a mess sometimes ;)

Happy new year everyone !
And a shout out to anyone else who might have put their foot in it last night ;)

BOOK REVIEW - THE 50th LAW: By 50 Cent + Robert Greene

2009-12-29T13:08:00.000-08:00

This collaboration between Robert Greene and Gangsta Rapper 50 Cent came out this year. On the back cover, in gothic letters, is the inscription "Nil timendum est" or "Fear Nothing". This is an apt description for the book. Greene explains how fear and fixed patterns of thinking are recipes for failure.

50 Cent's success Greene attributes to the choatic and dynamic worldview the rapper was able to learn in the harsh, wild west environment of the ghetto during the crack outbreak of the 1980s and 90s. The environment in which 50 came of age forced constant vigilance, and a fearless, change-friendly attitude that helped the rapper succeed in the music industry.
Quotations from Hsun Tzu - chinese writer of the Art of War - complete this book.

The moral for us, the reader, is that cultivating a fearless attitude and a positive approach to constant change are excellent recipes for success in our endeavors.

While the book contains a fair number of interesting ideas, the writing style can be a bit rambling and repetitive at times. If anything, pick this one up at Chapters and read through it over a coffee. The easy-to-follow chapter headings allow you to skip to the particular sections that might interest you.

That being said, this book can be of value even to those of us removed from an interest in Gangster Rap. Afterall, "Fear Nothing" is not a bad mantra for a warrior...

Warrior's Way eLesson - Mental Lies

2009-12-23T09:45:00.000-08:00

Courtesy of author Arno Illgner
Please take a look at his rock climbing blog !
http://warriorsway.com/

Mental Lies
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The mind doesn't like stress and will engage in thought processes designed to escape that stress. Often, these thought processes seem reasonable, but they have an ulterior motive of evasion. Many climbers have discovered this tendency of the mind. My first glimpse of it was many years ago as an intermediate climber in Boulder, Colorado. I was working my way through the climbing grades until I was able to climb 5.8s regularly. I wanted to push into 5.9s and had chosen one called Curving Crack on Castle Rock in Boulder Canyon. I was poised at a subtle stance below the last 15 feet, saying to myself, "I don't think I can do it." My mind told me to give up, but for no real reason I moved on anyway. Without thinking, I began stemming, laybacking, and jamming my shoes in the crack. I placed a nut and continued. The climbing was strenuous but doable. Stemming seemed to give me stability, and before I knew it, I pulled over the top.
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At the time, I couldn't believe it. I had felt quite certain I could not do the route, yet I had. I would later realize that almost every climber has had a similar experience. When you dissect these experiences, you find that your mind creates conceptions of situations that you haven't yet engaged. Since the situation is unknown, these conceptions are not based on fact and often are false. Consider the magnitude of this realization: Your mind gives you false information prior to engaging a new situation. This false information is essentially a lie.
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Realizing that your mind lies to you is a bit unsettling, to say the least. But how could it be otherwise? How can your mind know something before you actually engage? It can't, and this realization is the beginning of understanding how your mind works.

Running Uphill

2009-12-18T12:29:00.000-08:00

Do one thing that is difficult or makes you scared at least one thing every week...

Here's a simple principle: we get stronger, faster, smarter, wiser - in a word better - by doing things that truly challenge and stretch us. Think hard. I doubt you'll come up with a better way of describing the process of personal growth.

But - and it's a big but - how much time do we spend actually challenging ourselves with things we find hard to do? The honest answer too often is: "Not much time". And it's too bad really. Facing up to challenges and things that scare us is highly benefitial in a bunch of ways.

First, it gives us coping mechanisms for feeling okay with being outside our comfort zone. No one is comfortable outside their comfort zone - that's the very definition of the term "comfort". But the level of our success and growth is partially determined by how we react and grown into situations in which we feel uneasy. Avoiding uncomfortable challenges because they make us uncomfortable is an excellent way of never really going for broke in the pursuit of our goals. So the first benefit of taking on a challenge is that it gets you used to working outside your "zone".

Think of how it feels to spar with people watching. Perhaps this intimidates you, but you want to step in the ring to fight one day. If you always avoid sparring in front of others, how do you hope to be okay with one day getting up to actually fight in front of hundreds of people?

The only way to appropriate and own a thing that makes you uneasy is to get familiar with it.

Second, learning happens when you don't know exactly what you're doing. If you only stick to contexts in which you already feel an expert, you'll not be confronted with the learning process in the same way as if you regularly place yourself into new and challenging situations.

Think for example, of what it feels like to try a new type of work-out or a training session in your sport, but at another club. Usually, these experiences range from mildly uncomfortable - because your routine is broken - to actually uncomfortable, either physically or psychologically. Quite simply, you're doing something you're not used to, and so your reflexes aren't quite in the right place.
But that space of slight discomfort is an excellent place for learning. Your discomfort will get you to see things slightly differently or to pick up some new tricks.

The biggest benefit to doing something difficult regularly is that is prepares you to "Go for No". In pursuing your goals, there will be times when the obstacles in your path seem insurmountable. Perhaps the most intimidating of all roadblocks are those you simply don't know how to get around. Most often, there's a moment at which you need to just launch yourself, not knowing exactly how things will work out.

If you master this process in small steps by challenging yourself regularly, you'll get a lot better at "Going for no" when it counts.

So - the prescription for learning to cope with challenge is to challenge yourself regularly. Once a week, at least, do something you're uncomfortable or unused to. It'll help you out every time you're confronting something important that makes you uncertain!

MOTIVATIONAL VIDEO

2009-12-15T12:42:00.001-08:00

Feeling down ? Check this out...

Invictus

2009-12-14T08:18:00.001-08:00

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

AFRICAN KICK-BOXING GALA...

2009-12-09T08:07:00.000-08:00

Looking for participants...
Please contact : Mr Ali Haythem - imfa2009@gmail.com

Warrior's Way eLesson - 2009-1207 : The Mind Comes Forth

2009-12-09T07:59:00.000-08:00

By Arno Ilgner

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This lesson addresses the quote that opens the Awareness chapter in Espresso Lessons. Please post questions and comments on "Arno's Blog."
Arno

The Mind Comes Forth
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"Out of nowhere, the mind comes forth."
--Buddhist Diamond Sutra
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What is the meaning of this sutra? It seems to indicate that the mind exerts and expresses itself without warning. "Mind" is defined by Daniel Siegel in The Developing Mind as: the activity of the brain. One of the main tasks of our brain is to think. That thinking creates the mind.
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It can seem that our minds are constantly thinking. We get get lost in thought. Thoughts come and go, emerge continually, and randomly. This I believe is a beginning to understanding this sutra.
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Obviously if we cannot control our mental activity we can become victims of it. Thoughts can carry our attention away from our chosen task. Becoming aware of our minds "coming forth" can help us stop giving in to thought distractions.
Please post your comments on Arno's Blog:

www.warriorsway.com

How To Start a Sparring Circle

2009-12-07T07:06:00.000-08:00

by Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu

Our sparring circle began as a simple enough idea: that women who shared an interest in learning Muay Thai would and should be able to meet with each other, regardless of gym affiliation, and spar together to gain experience and network. Women are generally underrepresented in gyms and, whether it is a matter of negligence or simply one of practicality, we are often left with only a few sparring partners with whom we can practice. This can lead to one becoming very accustomed to the same people and progress may become stunted. My own obstacle was a little different in that I do not belong to a gym – I train privately, one on one – so I have no sparring partners and no female peers. My sparring experience was limited to attending gyms as a guest, where I was always smaller than everyone else, which often resulted in my feeling overly inept and discouraged.

The big idea came about from fighting at a big tournament in Virginia. There were only two other women in my weight class, but both were from New York, where I live. After losing my fight I happened to chance into a conversation with the coach of the other girl in my weight class who did not become champion. He was encouraging and when my situation was explained, he invited me down to his own gym to spar with his girls. When I told him that I would not be able to afford a gym membership, he said I could come for free because I’d be helping his girls out too. It was a touching and generous gesture. I began sparring with his girls the very next week.

This lasted for about a month. There are very few women training Muay Thai at this gym, and only two who spar. I would drive two hours down to the city in order to spar with one, maybe two of the Muay Thai fighters and one female boxer. Because we were also sharing the ring (the only sparring space) with men, the sum of the time spent sparring was only about 15-20 minutes out of the hour. It was more than I’d had access to before and was great help. I found out later that there were usually multiple pairs sparring in the ring at once, but the trainer had emptied it out for one group at a time as a special gesture to me. I figured it would be nice to take the generosity of spirit I’d received from this gym and pay it forward to other women, with the idea that the few women from all gyms in NYC should get together and spar each other – both building community between the gyms and providing much needed support and experience for women who might get very little “ring time” in their own gyms.

The idea was well received by the women at my “foster” gym. So I set up a blog where we could send prospective members, explaining the idea and collecting contact information. Once the website was up and an address could be passed along, women from various gyms (the champion from the tournament was at a separate gym in NYC and she passed the info on to women at several gyms) began contacting the website and a group formed. Within a two weeks we had 20 members!

The next step was to make a grid of everyone’s availability. This took a while to compile. We blocked out days and hours that individual women were available and looked at which times afforded the highest number of attendees. Once a number of days and times were agreed upon, we began looking for a space. This was tricky because gyms rarely have “open” time during business hours, we all came from different gyms, and the mission was to provide a space where the women members where in charge, rather than a trainer. However, the permission from some trainers for their students to attend was contingent upon there being some kind of professional supervision, to prevent negligent injuries and unnecessary mistakes. We looked at gyms with which none of us was affiliated; we asked our own gyms for time and space and some offered it, but with the complications of a small fee or no guarantee of exclusive space. We felt it was important to have a female-only space, especially for the early formation of the group. Other possibilities were rental studios – which might be somewhat unique to big cities – where empty dance or practice studios can be rented out by the hour. This was a promising option, but still had the issue of cost, as well as a lack of equipment and no ring. Since it was summer, we even considered meeting spontaneously, in a park or public space – an idea which many of us found very entertaining: a group of women gathering and sparring in a park amidst the public who would have no idea what was going on!

We set some ground rules regarding equipment. We require mouthguard, headgear, shinguards, and 16 oz gloves. Knee pads were introduced in the second session, encouraging women to practice knees safely, rather than avoid them for fear of injury. We had open discussions regarding the intensity of sparring – some of us like it hard and others are more comfortable working lighter contact. We decided it should be best to communicate with each partner individually, on a round by round basis. We also determined that staying 2 rounds with each partner would be a great benefit, so one could adapt but also get the most number of different partners in each session. Each woman would be responsible for herself, so we could jump in and sit out at any time. After a few weeks we discussed whether or not to film the sparring – we did film and then we stopped. We photograph every session and all the girls are happy to see the images.

After much thought and debate we settled on a gym in Brooklyn, just across the bridge from where the majority of Muay Thai gyms are located in lower Manhattan. It’s not a minimal distance in a city like New York, where subways and busses and traffic can be a major hassle, even when just going a few miles. Why we chose this location was simple: the gym owner supported our mission and offered us his gym – the whole thing – with exclusive access to the ring for an hour, every week, indefinitely. It was a boon for our fledgling group and we were able to actually get together and have our first meeting only a month after the initial website went up!

The first session was incredible. Nine women showed up, including a few who did not even spar on the first day; they just came to check it out and were excited by the idea. One was injured and couldn’t join us for a while, but the other was so inspired by the energy of the group she came back ready to go the next week. Not everyone could come every week, but the cycle of women remained steady and new members joined in the coming months. A few of the women remarked how refreshing it was to spar without being under the critical eye of their own trainers. (The owner of the gym was always present to keep an eye on us, for safety.) Others were inspired to go back to their gyms and work on skills they’d felt weak in during the sparring session, or to develop a skill they’d seen another woman using. We set up a Facebook group in order to expedite our communication and made it public, allowing women from completely different gyms to find us and join. We even drew a few members from women who don’t train boxing or Muay Thai, but other combat sports like MMA and Krav Maga.

We held a special sparring session on a Sunday (the owner opened his gym up just for us) when we were able to meet with pro Muay Thai fighter Nathalie Fuz. She brought a number of her private clients and we had about 13 women in attendance. At one point, all 13 of us were sparring (with one working a bag) at the same time! It was an incredible experience, lasting nearly 2 hours! A few weeks later, on a somewhat quiet night, a repeat WKA champion and friend of a few of our members dropped in to help out with one woman training for a fight.

The group now has members across the globe, which stands for the t people have for the concept of a female sparring circle. These members are satellites in nearby states and far away countries, each one of them a seed with the potential to grow another sparring circle in their own city. It’s an idea I hope spreads, and a practice I hope takes root in small towns and big cities – anywhere that women are practicing Muay Thai and boxing. Find one friend and tell her to find another. Call gyms and ask if they have women training there, then invite them. Send emails, visit websites, set up some kind of meeting space – even a virtual one (on myspace or facebook, or a weblog) – and use that space to build the plan. Then ask everyone you can think of to give you space; someone will. Just meet, whether you know what you’re doing or not – just getting together will set the groundwork. And then just keep doing it.

For an example of “how to” set up a sparring circle, visit the first entries of the New York Female Sparring Circle weblog, where we decide time and location, while discussing ground rules and gathering members: http://nyfsc.wordpress.com/page/4/

Mission Statement: This site is given to organizing a female Muay Thai and boxing sparring circle, in which New York City women are given the opportunity to gain the experience necessary to improve their skills. The hope is to provide a variety of sparring experiences of different levels and techniques – enough getting too comfortable with the same girls/guys in your gym – and also to help build some contacts and community.

But really it is for those who just love Muay Thai and boxing, and want to practice more of it in new situations.

Any questions, email sylvie at sylvie@earthlink.net

Five Effective Tips in Marketing Yourself

2009-12-04T12:37:00.001-08:00

By Jaime Lim

Remember when you were young your parents would tell you to always look neat and smart? Even at a young age, you were beginning to learn some basic lessons in marketing yourself. Back then, your parents were teaching you that looking neat and smart creates a positive first impression so vital to your success.marketing yourself

However, as you grew older and wiser, and life became a lot more complicated, looking neat and smart, while still vital, is no longer adequate. Whether applying for a job, meeting with a business client, winning the heart of that very special someone, or running for public office, you need to be effective in marketing yourself to win.

Here are five effective tips you may find helpful in marketing yourself:

1. Always look neat and smart:
As a tribute to parents who have always worked hard for your success, looking neat and smart will always be on top of this list. People will always gravitate towards a winner. If you look like a winner and smell like a winner, people will treat you like a winner. And you yourself will certainly start feeling like a winner. High profile politicians and business icons who have the money even hire the services of an image consultant just so they would have that winning advantage.

2. Appear bigger than you actually are:
Oftentimes, size does matter. Again, this boils down to people wanting to be with or work with winners. There seems to be this accepted mindset, actually a misconception, that winners should be big. This is why you see small local businesses adopting fancy multinational-sounding business names to make their small business appear globally big. Or they would have their business stationery printed with the flags of several countries to imply they have multinational affiliates. Maybe they do. Maybe they don’t. But they certainly look big. Having a virtual office “staff” makes you look big, too, even though your “staff” could be just your mother, sister or your wife. In Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki refers to his cat as his “business partner” whenever he has to enter into a contract subject to the approval of his “business partner”. Business Process Outsourcing and Contact Centers are there to create an impression that you have a big business. A business website is a very effective platform for marketing yourself as your website exposes your small business to a global market.

3. Highlight your achievements:
So what if you don’t have a Ph.D. on your resume? Or if you are just a start up business with very little credentials to show off? Do not dwell on what you do not have. Instead, focus on the benefits you can offer with what you do have and highlight these benefits when marketing yourself. Remember that almost all big industry players started out small at some point in time and were given the opportunity to grow.

4. Be a wide reader, research a lot:
Saying the right things at the right time leaves a very positive impression when marketing yourself in front of your business clients or when applying for a job. Reading and researching on a wide variety of topics gives you a wealth of information that you will find tremendously helpful during business negotiations or job interviews. Sometimes, just one brilliant remark can be all it takes to break the ice or seal the deal. In election debates, the candidate who gives the more intelligent, more relevant answers usually gets the votes. When marketing yourself, it is not enough to just look smart, you also have to talk smart.

5. Be multi-lingual and multi-cultural:
In today’s global economy, marketing yourself often requires the ability to speak several languages and be sensitive to diversities in cultures and traditions. Showing your clients you have taken extra efforts to learn about their language and culture earns you their respect and that all-important positive first impression. You can also get a lot of referrals from these clients as they usually are clannish and closely-knit.

A bounty of opportunities await you if you are effective in marketing yourself. You need to constantly keep your best foot forward, highlight your achievements, be sensitive to your markets’ needs, and always have that winning positive first impression.

The article contributor runs a small business in the Philippines which has survived several years despite unfavorable economic and political conditions. He runs a blog site with a theme about “Goals and Goal Setting”. Visit Jaime at GOALKEEPER.

GYM REVIEW - CENTRE DE KARATE KJS

2009-12-04T09:33:00.000-08:00

Who know a gym like this even existed in the Montreal area for Muay Thai and Kick-boxing?

Between uber-traditional Daosawan, disorganized Academie Sportive, and the assortment of MMA-prone gyms who have Muay Thai classes only to feed their boxing or MMA programs, perhaps KJS Karate will become the home of competitive Muay Thai and Kickboxing in the Montreal area.

For kick-boxers and Muay Thai fans alike, this gym might just be the breath of fresh air the Montreal scene needs. Owner Stephane Dubé has recently added a Muay Thai program to his (flourishing) school. Ok - so St-Constant isn't exactly on the island, but it is a short hop across the Champlain bridge.

In this basement gym, you'll find clean premises, a structured and organized environment (which is sorely lacking in Montreal area Muay Thai).
The classes are tiring. The vibe is friendly and pro-learning - no smash and grab here. It takes months to graduate to proper sparring after starting, so you avoid the usual muscle-bound dudes having a smash at one another.

Tuition is a bit expensive. But then Dubé's school is associated with the CASK Canadian Kick-boxing and Muay Thai Federation. This gives access to competitions across Ontario and may offer fighters the possibility to break out of the limiting Quebec scene.

Check out the class schedual here:
http://www.karatekjs.ca/index.php?option=com_content&task=blogcategory&id=3&Itemid=57

GIVING THANKS - A positive attitude activity

2009-12-03T15:05:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, when the weight of the world seems to much, it's hard to know where to start with positive thinking. Nobody wants to stare into the mirror and repeat: "You're pretty, you're smart and gosh darn it people like you!" When the going in tough, positive statements or "Look on the bright sides" can feel like a sham.
If it feels like you're struggling to keep your head above water - mustering a positive thought can feel like an insurmountable challenge.

Here's a little exercise that can help you start from where you are.

Give thanks.
Run through a list of the things you are thankful for having.

Healthy? Got a great family that loves you? Got great friends? A great partner? Enough food in the fridge? A warm place to sleep? A clean credit card? Dry shoes? A furry and warm pet? A flat-screen TV?

Whatever it is, however, small or large, there are positive things in your life that you can be thankful for. No matter what the latest loss, no matter how disoriented you may feel, make a mental list of the things you're thankful for. Very often, getting down in the mouth is just a question of perspective. If you focus only on what's going wrong, it's easy to see things negatively. By giving thanks for all the good things you're enjoying without even realizing it, you can redress the negative slant in your worldview.

Go for it! And just start saying thanks. You'll be surprised at how out of touch you've become with all the "presents" the universe has given you.

FIGHT VIDEO - EMILY BEARDEN

2009-12-01T11:10:00.000-08:00

Check out this round 5 fight... !

MOVING MENTAL ROAD BLOCKS TO PERFORMANCE

2009-11-29T14:36:00.001-08:00

A great way to push to the next level, through pain and discomfort

Our minds have a default setting when it comes to pain and discomfort. When push comes to shove, it doesn't take much to turn us into scare-dy babies. Very often, at the first signs of difficulty, our brains begin sending "Turn back" signals.

For example, when trying a new work-out or some activity that we're unfamiliar with, quite often, we give up before we're really at our physical "Go no further" point. Think of something simple like bench-pressing for example. It's not uncommon for a first-time lifter to feel pumped out on very low weight, only to find a very rapid progression through heavier weights in successive work-outs.

What's the logic behind this progression?

It takes way long to get to real gains through muscle-building. The difference is determination, and learning exactly what the signs of discomfort really mean. If you're not used to jogging, you might feel a bit tired after the first 10 minutes of a run. That's a long way off your real "tired" level though.

The process behind this is actually more psychological than physical. As human beings, we have a low cut-off switch when it comes to discomfort. This goes for emotional stress as well as physical. And the best way to learn to push through pain (in the context of a work-out or otherwise) is to uncouple the links we draw between "I feel uncomfortable" and "I can't go on".

It's normal to feel a bit winded after the first 10 minutes of a run. It's also normal to begin feeling a little pumped out when lifting weights, kicking the bag or doing pad-work. The key is to disrupt the idea that discomfort = your can't go on point.
If you just continue through the discomfort, you'll find you can train your brain to listen more accurately to the body, and to "give up" only when you're really tired.

For example, if you're used to only being able to run 20 minutes, force yourself to do 30 minutes. It doesn't matter how slow you run. Just do it. If you can do 30 push-ups, make yourself do 35. The essence is simply to push the barriers of what your brain "thinks" is possible. You'll find that often, once the initial barrier is broken, successive personal best performances get easier.

Eventually, you'll find your body - not your mind - holding you back. And that's exactly what you want !

LESSON ON AWARENESS - From Arno Ilgner's Espresso Lessons

2009-11-23T12:07:00.000-08:00

By Arno Ilgner
(Check out Arno's Blog http://warriorsway.com/ or his new book at http://warriorsway.com/espresso-lessons/)
The following is an excerpt from "Lessons" he sends regularly to his readership..

Thinking vs. Awareness
Difference Between Thinking and Awareness
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We tend to equate a powerful mind with being mentally fit, but this is really a misunderstanding of mental fitness. In fact, our minds will tend to limit us at every turn and drain our power away. We need to “get out of our minds” to see situations more clearly. Mental fitness is not concerned with the mind, per se, but rather with awareness. Someone who is mentally fit is aware. With awareness we don’t fall victim to the mind’s limiting tendencies that rule us if we lack mental fitness.
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Our minds will create doubts–escape thoughts–when we are stressed. If we listen to these doubts we’ll tend to react and escape the stress by saying “take” or going down. In some cases like yes-fall zones we need to develop the ability to push through these doubts. Doing this expands our mental fitness. To do this we need to operate from a part of us that is different than our thinking mind. That part is awareness.
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What is the difference between “thinking” and “awareness?” Thinking is thought intensive while awareness is presence or simple attention in the moment. “Thinking” is when your mind creates thoughts about the situation you are in. “Awareness” is when your attention is focused on the situation simply observing with your senses. You are aware through what you see, hear, feel, smell, taste. Thinking separates us from the immediacy of the situation. Awareness gives us direct perception of the situation and allows us to perceive it more accurately.

FIGHTER INTERVIEW - Petra Janssen van Doorn

2009-11-22T18:42:00.000-08:00

Reprinted from Wfighter.com

Written by Joanna P. Basile

I recently had the chance to sit down with Petra Janssen van Doorn, Dutch Muay Thai fighter. I wanted to interview Petra because I admire her continuous energy and love for what she does. She sets the standards high for all women athletes, owning/operating her own gym, coaching, training and fighting at the same time. I myself traveled to Helmond, Netherlands to check out Calmaro Gym and spend some time with Petra's students and fighters. The gym was equally welcoming as it was intense. You could feel the team atmosphere, and as you could see from the medals and photos in the lounge, it's effective. I have been training with Marco van den Broek in both Holland and Las Vegas, and I can tell first hand this style is very aggressive. Check out Petra's next US fight in NYC in December vs. Emily Beardon.

Name: Petra Janssen van Doorn
Calmaro Gym, NL www.calmarogym.com
Fight record: 16 fights, 12 wins, 4 losses, 0 draw, 3 KO
Titles:
January 2009: WMA International Champion 112 lbs
March 2009: WPMF World Champion 108 lbs

Next fight: December 12, 2009 Emily Beardon in NYC

Q. How long have you been training to fight? What was it that inspired you to train in the first place?

A. years ago, a friend asked me to come train with him at a Thai boxing club called Bully's Gym. I was hooked immediately! In the beginning I did it just to get in shape, but after awhile I wanted to measure my skills against other people, and it became more about the game itself than the physical results.

Q. What what your proudest moment in the ring?

A. My last fight; I won the WPMF World title at 108 lbs by KO in the first round.

Q. What is the biggest challenge you face as a fighter?

A. I think when you really believe that the sky is the limit, you're capable of doing more than you expected in the first place. And of course everybody has his/her limit, as there are things that just aren't possible. But for me that's something that I want to find out. My biggest challenge is to see where my limit is!

Q. You also train fighters, and own a gym in Helmond, Netherlands. How do you balance being a coach, a business owner/operator and a fighter?

A. I run the Calmaro Gym together with my business partner Marco van den Broek. He's also the stand up coach of Amir Sadollah, Mike Pyle and Roy Nelson. So when he's in Vegas to prepare these fighters for their fight, I am in Holland to run the gym and attend events with my fighters. When I have a fight, Marco is at the gym. Most of the time I have a month that he's back, and I can just focus on my fight.

Q. You are known for your non-stop energy and positive training attitude. What do you do to maintain that level of energy during your training?

A. The energy that I have for training only comes from the fact that I like to train. I see every training as a game, and I like to play!

Q. What are the 3 things that you cannot live without in preparing for a fight?

A. It sounds pretty simple, but a daily routine with good training partners/trainers, healthy,lean food and enough time to rest is what's most important.

Q. What advice can you give someone who is stepping in the ring for the first time? How have you grown/changed as a competitor since your first bout?

A. When one of my fighters steps into the ring for the first time, I tell them just to have fun. Entertain the crowd, and show them what you got! I think it's really important that there's no pressure or any expectations of them. The only thing they have to do is enjoy themselves! With every fight I had, I did learn a little more about myself. I think that's what most important in a fight, to know what you're really capable of. In the end skills are just the tools, but the biggest part of the fight is between your ears...

Q. Tell us what you love about training, fighting, coaching and running your own gym.

A. Those 4 ingredients are the basic way I live my life at the moment. Of course when I have some spare time, I spend this with my friends and family. And besides Thai boxing I do have many other hobbies/interests like horseback riding and traveling. But my daily routine is based on those four things. And to be honest, I like every single day of it! I Of course there are always things that are not that fun to do, like the administrative work... but still I can't imagine another job that's more fun than this!

Q. What do people say when you tell them that you are a champion Muay Thai fighter?

A. People who do not know anything about me are surprised. But that's also because most of the time those people don't know much about the sport and the people in this sport. They think that only those women who are manly do these kinds of sports.

Q. How does the training in Holland differ from the training here? What have you learned from training/fighting in the States, and what could we do better here?

A. In October I trained for almost a month in Las Vegas. During this time I did see some things what were different. In Holland you just train at one gym. You have most of the time one trainer who's helping you to get ready for your fight. Besides your trainer, you have your team that trains with you, Everybody trains for their own fight, but everybody helps each other to get ready for their fight as well. In Vegas, many of fighters have different, more specialized trainers for different parts of the training. Because of this, the fighters in Vegas seem more professional. The training is focused on the needs of that particular fighter, and it's more individual. In Holland you depend more on your team. Of course I don't know how this is in the rest of the country, and I can't speak for every gym in Holland.

Q. Where have you traveled as a fighter/trainer, and what was your favorite spot?

A. I've traveled to England, Belgium, Germany, France, Spain, Finland, Romania, Luxembourg, Thailand, Canada and the US (Las Vegas, New York, Richmond) for my sport. Sometimes it was me fighting, and sometimes I travel to coach my fighters. Sometimes just travel for training, like this last time in Las Vegas. My favorite spots are Las Vegas and Thailand. Thailand because of the easy going way of life. Las Vegas because of the professional way of training and the people I've met.

Q. Where do you see yourself as a fighter/business woman in 10 years?

A. I really don't know... There are so many things that I do like to do. It depends on the opportunities that I get as to which way my future shall go.

Q. Anything you'd like to add?

A. I want to thank my sponsors Nikko Toshogu Sports and Windy for sponsoring my team and me. Thanks to my training mates because they are always there for me. Norm Turner because he gets me in the best shape ever, and Bobby Chiodini and Shawn Yarborough for helping me out with my training in Las Vegas. I also want to thank Marco van den Broek because without him it's not possible to take time off to get ready for a fight!

Joanna P. Basile l Contributor, WFighter.com

BOOK REVIEW - ESPRESSO LESSONS From the Rock Warrior's Way

2009-11-22T14:49:00.000-08:00

by Arno Ilgner

The successor to Arno Ilgner's earlier book, in which the author elaborates the "Rock Warrior's Way", ESPRESSO LESSONS lays out a mental training program for rock climbers. Having climbed only 3 times in my life (two of these at 13 years old!), I don't in the least consider myself an adherent of the sport. That being said, Ilgner's mental training program is easily adaptable to any variety of challenges, physical or mental.

For example, the book begins with a chapter on cultivating "awareness". Ilgner argues - rightly - that awareness needs to be the basis of any mental training regimen. Indeed, throughout the processes of stretching, learning and adapting to change, our mind plays repeated tricks on us. If we are to outsmart these tricks, we need to become aware. The basis of this process - as the Buddhists might argue - is thinking. Mental chatter, and negative self-talk are manifestations of this phenomenon. Ilgner recommends building awareness through disassociating with thoughts, thereby gaining perspective. He recommends the position of "watcher" - that is, not identifying with the thoughts we think. How very Buddhist!

Other interesting reflections include chapters on risk-assessment and on falling. The tools Ilgner describes for living effectively with risk are readily transferable - be it to combat sports, the stock market or to making major life decisions. The key, for Ilgner, is to clear away useless mental chatter. To do so, one needs to identify the profound reasons for taking the risk, and the potential negative consequences, as well as ones tendency either to rush through or to procrastinate in the face of a stress-producing risk.

Note, of course, (a distinction made by Ilgner) the difference between a "stress-producing risk" and an "actual" physical risk. These two things do not always, or even often, line up. We react to many "risks" as if they contained actual danger, while in fact, their manifestation is essentially psychological.

Ilgner's take on a "fall" in climbing is easily converted into a metaphor for just about anything unanticipated. Most climbers fear falling, just as we human beings are afraid of trying or hard-to-predict situations, which are unknown to us. Learn to deal with the discomfort of the unknown, and to abstract accurate risk-assessment from phantom fear, and you'll face and take risks more effectively!

These are just a few of Ilgner's interesting points. I would highly recommend this book, along with its pre-quill, to anyone interested in mental training. It's a great read and Ilgner doesn't disappoint, cutting through the material with his usual clarity.

Definitely thumbs up !

To purchase or just to check out Arno's site :
http://warriorsway.com/espresso-lessons/

KEEPING THE SOUL WHOLE

2009-11-20T08:00:00.000-08:00

"In school they tried to tell me man doesn't have a soul,
"What happened to his," I say "Cause mine is still whole!"
- Spearhead

Keeping your soul intact isn't always easy. I'm not taking about the going-to-church, lighting-candles kind of soul, necessarily, but rather about maintaining the thing inside you that keeps in touch with the humanity of others.
Whatever you're doing, whether it's sparring, working, or some other kind of semi-competitive activity, it's important to cultivate the part of yourself that sees other people as people. Don't let the desire to dominate push you to bulldozer those around you!

This might sound trite or self-evident, but it's not always. For example, anyone who's sparred regularly will relate to the experience of squaring off against someone you really don't want to "lose" to. Perhaps you're in the ring for the first time with a beginner who's tense and swinging hard. Perhaps you're the beginner, trying to prove yourself to your trainer.
Either way, there comes a moment when the "person" in front of you becomes a target, rather than another human being. Your desire to dominate in a particular situation gets pitted against the basic recognition of someone else's integrity. Whether this translates into swinging wildly or else hitting the beginner in front of you too hard, it's a habit you want to keep in check if you want to preserve your humanity- your soul.

In work, this tension - between dominating/getting what you want and perceiving the humanity of the person in front of you - exists as well. Be it an employee, or a manager, it's also best to maintain a sense of the person's integrity and intentions.

Basically, this comes down to not seeing other human beings as means to ends, but rather as fully formed creatures whose worth is similar to yours. This distinction is especially important where there are differences of relative power (for example in when an expert spars with a beginner, or a sales person meets a vulnerable customer).

How does one go about cultivating this vision?

Simply, by not getting too wrapped up in the pursuit of a goal. When going into a situation where your objective might place you at odds with respect of the individual in front of you, make sure you spend a bit of time thinking of them as a whole person. You might want to ask yourself: "What's more important - "winning" this interaction or maintaining my soul?"
You can try to interact with them before and after the "situation". This'll put you in touch with their experience. Also check your own behavior. If you notice yourself grabbing in an aggressive way or forcing, stop what you're doing for a second. Insert a minute of reflection. This will often be enough to bring your soul back, giving it the strength to counteract the part of you that wants to dominate.

You might want to try also listening to Spearhead. Michal Franti, the lead singer, expresses this really well!

http://www.getalyric.com/mp3/lyrics/songs/spearhead-3179/home-10424/of_course_you_can-57475/

WANT TO GET OVER A CRUSH ? GO FOR NO !!

2009-11-17T13:17:00.000-08:00

I had a good friend ask me a question the other day. Over lunch, she told me she had something she wanted advice on. Then, all starry-eyed she launched a 10-minute descriptive essay telling me about her latest guy-crush and trying to psycho-analyze the minutia of their interactions. As an afterthought almost, she concluded with:
"But he doesn't like me anyway, so what can I do to get over him?"

Hmmm... Why spend 10 minutes describing a situation (opportunity?) with which she was obviously very engaged, only to dismiss it outright without first determining how to convert it into the outcome she wants?
She was ignoring one of Hsun Tsu's rules - Never assume defeat.

But how to deal then, by extension (and this was her real worry I think), with an ambiguous situation?

"Go for no!" I told her.

The "Go for No" principle means that unless you are prepared to fail, your success will have a low ceiling. Unless you take risks to get what you want, you'll have to be content with just what life gives you - and hey, you can do a lot better!

For example, if you let one guy you like go by without trying clearly and unambiguously to get his attention, some day there will be another boy you like and another. And if you never get in the habit of going for what you want, you'll get stuck with whoever's left, or with whoever picks you. Not that lovely men sometimes aren't interested, but destiny always works better if you help it along a bit! It also tends to work faster this way!

So - how can you go for no?

Do something unambiguous.

With the dance we do in the preliminary stages of interest, we often get so preoccupied with "signals" and psychoanalysis that we forget to send up simple, good old fashioned unambiguous red flags. If you're at the awkward conversation stage, just ask him to do something alone with you, like drinks or a movie. If you're already friends, you'll need to do something more drastic and physical, like lean in for a kiss or sidle up to him at a party.

It might seem hard, but what's 5 minutes of awkwardness compared with months of a "not relationship" in which you aimlessly pine for someone you're not even dating? Go for no!

Whatever you do, make sure you get to a definite negative response. If the answer is yes, then so much the better for you ! If the answer is no, then at least you've been rejected fair and square.
From a straight-up rejection, moving on happens on its own.
It's much easier to get on with your life when you're faced with a non-negotiable certainty.

If you get to "no", well then pick yourself up and move on to something else. Either get out into the community and try to meet other suitable men, or focus on something else in your life. If you've got a passion, throw yourself into that. Friends are also a great resource.
I think, however, that the "getting over it" is really about getting a definite answer. Once you "know", the moving on will happen by itself!

So don't spend too much time agonizing and dissecting hard-to-interpret social situations. Just go for no! It's the first step to proper success.

BOOK REVIEW : Chetan Bhagat - ONE NIGHT @ THE CALL CENTER

2009-11-11T13:52:00.000-08:00

If God called you on the phone, what would you have to say for yourself?

This is the premise of Chetan Bhagat's One Night @ the Call Center. Describing the trials and tribulations of one shift in New Delhi's many IT call centers, the book catalogues the main character's fall into adulthood. The hero is a young not-so-confident Indian middle-class boy. Struggling for a better career and to win back the lady he loves, Bhagat's book describes a few stops along the hard and long road to believing in yourself.

All this is set against the alien (for North Americans!) backdrop of New Delhi's new middle-class struggle. Crazy drivers, drinks that cost a weeks' salary, and the joys of a family trying to arrange a marriage are all part of the picture. Bhagat is one of India's best-selling authors at the moment, and it's worth picking this up just to see what the world's biggest English-language market is reading.

That being said, the book itself has a good deal to say, especially about the quest for confidence and life-direction. Each of the characters in the book is actually on such a quest. Priyanka, the protagonist's girlfriend is struggling to make her parents happy through an arranged marriage. Another minor female character struggles with her desire to model.

And then, BAM ! - right in the middle of everyone's little drama, God calls. And this is where things really get interesting...

Ask yourself - if God called you, what would you have to say about your hopes and fears?

CROSSFIT - REVIEW

2009-11-06T22:00:00.001-08:00

THE QUICK AND NOT SO EASY WAY TO BETTER CARDIO AND MUSCLE STAMINA

Need to get in shape fast for an up-coming fight or just looking to increase your martial arts performance? You might want to try Cross Fit training. Invented in the United States, this training method has become popular in the last few years. It is, in fact, a refined version of circuit training, which combines high-repetition weight training with cardio exercises. Many high performance athletes rely on this method to attain peak performance in preparing for an event.
What’s Cross Fit like?

In your average Cross Fit gym you will find simple training equipment like sit-up mats, kettle balls, chin-up bars, medicine balls and the like. You’ll most likely end up running stairs or around the exercise area in between sets of repetitions. The goal is to get you building explosive power, and endurance through a mixture of different exercises.

To encourage you through what might otherwise be a bit boring (honestly – how
interesting can 200 push-ups, sit-ups, chin-ups, and squats be?), a trainer is there to supervise. He or she monitors your performance, encourages you, but also notes down your times or the number of repetitions you’ve been able to do. This allows the more competitive people in the room to compare scores. It also allows you to gage past performance and compare yourself to the gym-rats personal bests that are posted up on the numerous white-boards around the place.

If you do it right, the workout is really tough. Be careful the first time. (On my first trial session, I saw a new guy run to the bathroom for a fit of bulimia). Drink beforehand, but don’t eat! And try to at least walk or stretch out afterwards. You risk SERIOUS stiffness for two days after if you don’t.

I’d recommend this type of training to anyone who’s looking to build cardio or muscle strength and endurance. If you’re preparing for a fight or just looking to get better at your sport, you might want to give this a try!

Oh! And I almost forgot one of the best parts – the work-outs are really short: a class is over in one hour. How often can you get dead tired in just one hour? That in itself is reason enough to try this out!

Happy training!
Terrie

GYM REVIEW - KNOCK-OUT GYM MONTREAL

2009-11-06T07:40:00.000-08:00

Open for about the past year, Knock-Out Gym offers various martial arts classes at pretty reasonable prices. A three-month membership will run you about 150$. Their facilities are top-notch: boxing ring, weight training machines, spotless locker-rooms and tatamis that are clean, new and well-maintained.

Kick-boxing and Muay Thai classes are available three days a week and are relatively empty (read: great opportunity for individual attention). There's no competition team yet in either kick-boxing or Muay Thai, although the boxing team is up, alive and kicking.
The gym hosts galas every few months, and a couple of female competitors (in boxing) have been spotted.
The Muay Thai trainer hopes to get a few competitors participating at galas by the new year.

To sum up, this gym is a very agreeable place to train, although if you're looking to compete in Thai or Kick-boxing, the place needs still to develop a bit!

CHOOSING THE PERFECT GYM

2009-11-06T07:33:00.000-08:00

How to find that elusive marriage made in heaven...

Just finished unpacking from a transcontinental move or looking for an upgrade in training? Even if you’re simply in the market for a fresh place to beat up the heavy bag, choosing a new gym can tough stuff.
There are lots of things to consider when you hand over hard earner dollars in exchange for sweat. To top it off, many places push you to sign up for months-long memberships after just one trial class. This is precious little time get the lay of the land.
How do you want to assess the ecology of a gym, from coaches, to schedules, to potentially cool or disastrous other members in just 1.5 hours? The following check-list will give you an idea of what to look for…

1) Do I know my training goals?
Your objectives dictate which gym is right for you. If you’re primarily interested in fitness – not competition – you’ll need a place with friendly, motivating instructors who’ll coax you through those painful last few reps. Classes set to music are fun, and a relaxed environment is important. Look for girls in yoga pants – they’re a good sign of this type of place.
If you want to start out as a fighter, make sure the gym houses a competition team and has a policy of promoting new talent. Be very, very sure the head coach knows something about booking fights (you don’t want your debut to be against Big Bertha who just retired from professional boxing)! You’ll want to know, also, whether the competition team is open to new members. Some gyms maintain a closed circle among fighters, which is hard to penetrate, especially if no other women compete. A little relaxed conversation with one or two of the fighters should yield some answers.
Got a few fights under your belt? In this case, you likely know what will work for you in training. You’ll want to focus on the connection with the coach (does he or she seem interested in you?), on the rapport with the other competitors (do they make eye contact?) and on the gym’s reputation for placing fighters at good events (do they send people to regional, national or international events?).

2) What will my play-mates be like?
If you weigh 120 lbs you can’t train like someone who weighs 200 lbs. For female fighters, it’s super important to train in an environment open to students of different weights and sizes. If on the first day you find yourself in the ring with a 200 lb beginner and he’s swinging like it’s a barroom brawl, something may be wrong.
Because women fighters are often smaller, lighter and have smaller biceps, it’s important that the guys you spar with be experienced and/or intelligent enough to work with you. The trainer should establish ground rules when it comes to hitting, so observe how he contains sparring.
Again, other women are a good sign when assessing the overall brutishness of a gym. Be on the lookout for bloody noses and disorganized or unsupervised sparring. Coaches who get in the ring or on the mats with a macho attitude or wanting to “teach students a lesson” are also a red flag.
When you’re 60 lbs lighter than everyone else, a brutish environment is NOT conducive to learning and progress. It is, on the other hand, a good way to get injuries, headaches and serious frustration. Don’t let mean playmates put you off training altogether!

3) Geography and time zone
Two other things to recon with are distance from home and schedule. If you want to train during lunch time, the 8 to 10pm class isn’t going to do you much good. These issues might seem small at the outset, but if your goal is to be in the gym multiple times a week, the 45-minute trek across town in traffic will eventually interfere!

4) Still not sure?
Don’t be shy to chat with the coaches about your objectives – but beware of the sales pitch! While competition-oriented gyms are usually clear that the fitness clientele isn’t welcome, small gyms or inexperienced coaches frequently try to pull in new talent by sounding important. Check coaches’ credentials and track records of booking fights. Other women training at the gym are also a great resource!
If all else fails, spend some time online. Forums for your area will list gyms and have valuable testimonials. The net is also a good place to check out a trainer’s reputation. If you’re looking for a place that promotes its competitors, then the gym’s name should appear on online fight cards. You can also check how much their fighters travel.

5) One final word –
Whatever you do, don’t take a yearly subscription up front! When trying out a new place, rather start out with a 1-month or, at most, a 3-month membership. Personality flaws aren’t always visible on the first date and gyms are no different. Don’t sign up for a 1-year relationship before you know if the other person picks their nose at dinner!

COMING BACK - Some tips on getting back to training after a break

2009-10-31T14:43:00.000-07:00

Going from this...

to this...

Training after a long break can be a challenge. Physiologically, cardio abilty starts to slip after as little as a week and begins to drop off seriously after two. Muscle- and flexibility loss takes places after maybe three weeks. Of course, if you're sparring, your timing will begin suffer also after a month.

Be prepared for wobbly legs, non-existant cardio and shot flexibility. These symptoms are normal. Along with muscle stiffness the day after!
Here are some tips for how to handle the transition with the least pain possible...

DO take it easy the first few times back in the gym. Especially in the first training session back "on the job" just go through the movements, and get back to "feeling" what your body knows how to do. You can build up to your previous levels of cardio, speed and techniques later. The first class back is just about getting the engine moving again.

DON'T stretch too much, drink too little, or go back for a second training session too early. Give your body time to recover. You've just begun to shock it back into shape. Be gentle with yourself and don't risk getting hurt. An injury just means more time on the couch!

DO be patient. It might seem at first like you've lost ground, but your automatisms have actually softened during your time off. If you can remember some of your bad habits, this is a good time to work on them. This is perhaps one of the main opportunities you gain when executing a come-back.

DON'T go in for a long sparring session without training your eye and timing first. You need to do some structured exercises on the pads or with a partner to get yourself seeing openings and punches or kicks coming your way. Otherwise you risk getting a bump on the nose and some serious frustration.

DO let your coach know you've been off for a while and want to take it easy. There's no point having him yell at you for being lazy.

And, finally, DON'T get discouraged or start saying "I'm too old for this". The body takes about 2 weeks to begin to feel comfortable again with training and probably about a month to get into actual fightin' shape again.

Happy coming back !

THINKING LIKE A WOMAN-FIGHTER

2009-10-23T02:38:00.000-07:00

Written by Martin Morris, reprinted from Wfighter.com

What separates the people that spend their lives working toward a goal while others work to live an average life. The way a person thinks will determine where an individual is today and where they will be tomorrow. As a fighter, you have to continually think about what you are thinking about. You want to make sure you are doing things that get you closer to a goal. What separates the people that spend their lives working toward a goal while others work to live an average life. The way a person thinks will determine where an individual is today and where they will be tomorrow. As a fighter, you have to continually think about what you are thinking about. You want to make sure you are doing things that get you closer to a goal. The most precious gift you have is your mind and what you put in it can make you strong or weak. You can’t afford to associate with people that are not encouraging you to be better than you are, telling you to settle for less in life, or over indulging in pleasure to accept not working toward higher goals

With the recent appointment of a woman to the Supreme Court, the political influence of women in this country has just increased. With the increasing influence of women in political power, they will want to see women be successful in other professions. Therefore, they will want to see women fighting sports be successful, so they have an inspiration for them to get their motivation to do their jobs well. To make this sport attractive to the women leaders, you must think big and do the things necessary to keep your moving along. I believe by investing in yourself, analyzing you current situation, working through crisis, and continuing to grow that you can keep you career and personal life on the right course.

RETURNING HOME AFTER INDIA

2009-10-20T04:30:00.000-07:00

It's the last day of my trip to India, and though I normally wouldn't tie up the airwaves with personal blah blah, there are junctures and moments where you want to say something personal... This is one of them ;)

I've just spent 3 weeks visiting another planet - or at least that's what it feels like - holy cows, people living im huts, Hindi film songs, pigs eating garbage, rickety trains, super hospitality, spicy curry for breakfast, and reed-thin ladies in bright bright saris beimg wholly new experiences for a Canadian.

To top it off, I - like many people I suspect - came here because I wanted answers. Not answers that could necessarily be derived from India - really, this idea was a bit silly from the start. I see that now. I guess I just figured if I got myself here, I'd somehow know by the time my trip was over. I'm in the process of changing jobs, moving continents (back home after time 2 years working in France). I have to decide, also, what is to become of the man in my life.

What made me think I'd find answers here?

I am aware I am leaving with a suitcase full of incredible experiences, but I feel like I just came back from the supermarket with a trunk full of groceries containing nothing I set out to get. I can't quite decide whether to be angry with myself for picking up the wrong things... ;)
But you don't always choose, do you? What you come out of the store with. That's the beauty and the absurdity of life.

Paulo Coelho writes in the alchemist: "If you realy really want something bad enough, the whole universe conspires to give it to you."
I wonder if that is true. I wonder about directing all your energies at something with such focus. It is true in one sense - putting your power in a certain direction does have a way of pulling things closer. But what about being careful what you wish for? Isn't there something there about the risks of just maybe getting what you want?
You have a responsability then for being happy with the result, don't you?

"To take up arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them..."

VACATION IN INDIA !

2009-09-23T19:34:00.000-07:00

Hi blog readers !
I'm visiting India in the next month, so blog entries will be a bit slow...
Have a good month + more good stuff on the way ;)

BOOK REVIEW - THE PETER PRINCIPLE

2009-09-10T07:57:00.000-07:00

The ultimate book on human incompetence...

Laurence Peter and Raymond Hull's book, The Peter Principle, is an oldy but a goody. First published in 1969, this satirical book explains incompetence in all human organizations with one very simple adage: "People always rise to the level of their own incompetence, and then stagnate there, preventing all useful work from being done."

To back up their theory, the authors demonstrate time and again how the skills that lead to promotion actually have nothing to do with the skills necessary for successfully accomplishing the job. For example, a great machinist may get promoted for being good with manual and spatial tasks. Seeing his ease and skill in his initial functions, he is quickly promoted to shop foreman. The reality, however, is that the skills required to be a good foreman (organizational, social and so on) are nothing like the abilities needed to cope effectively with work as a machinist. Not only does our company, then, risk losing a good machinist, it also risks gaining a poor foreman.
And on and on - Peter and Hull spare no expense in illustrating the principle of promotion beyond ones level of competence.

And then their book gets really funny. There are two chapters near the end of the book, enumerating the medical- and psychological symptoms of what the authors term "Final Placement" at the level of ones own incompetence - a level at which one is doomed to live out the rest of ones career, given that promotion is not longer possible when one blatantly doesn't have the skills to be successful at ones present placement.

Hull and Peter enumerate spurious and hilarious syndromes such as "Phonophilia" (the desire for many different telephones in a vain attempt to remain constantly connected to ones inferiors) and Papyrophilia (the belief that vaste accumulations of paper will somehow protect one from work-related errors).

These chapters I recommend reading quietly when one is home alone - if you risk reading them in a public space, prepare for questioning looks. While reading these chapters, spectators at the French unemployment office were wondering whether I was laughing or crying.

From my vantage point as a "chomeur" I now have the time and liberty to contemplate human incompetence from a very safe perch indeed, at least for the next year until my "allocations" run out !

JULIE KITCHEN - Promo Video

2009-09-10T07:53:00.000-07:00

Julie Kitchen will fight Karen Lynch on September 13 in London. Check out a recent promo video of Kitchen, 8-time world champion...

MONEY vs OTHER STUFF - How to know what to run after

2009-09-07T10:46:00.000-07:00

It's common knowledge that people often lose their heads when it comes to money.
Gambling, buying lottery tickets and credit card debt are a few examples of how irrational thinking can damage lives when it comes to finances.

I'm talking here about something a bit more insidious. Think of the following situation. When offered a raise or an opportunity to save money, quite often human beings run after the dollar bills without really understanding the trades-offs they engage. At times, people are even capable of sacrificing relationships or lifestyle choices that are of great value to them, all in the name of money that - ultimately - doesn't necessarily bring them what they want.

Consider the following example. When deciding what sort of career to choose, a young student chooses to become a lawyer because her parents tell her lawyers make good money. What doesn't enter into anyone's equation is that lawyers also work long hours, sitting at desks and often pouring over details.
Does the young student factor in what type of lifestyle she would like? Does anyone consider that perhaps she doesn't need or want a large house, a big mortgage and two luxury cars?

Indeed, financial concerns are not to be trifled with. Money solves lots of problems and gives access to all sorts of benefits. Money MAY be as good a reason as any to make decisions.

BUT - it is very, very important to get clear in your mind what exactly the financial benefits a particular sacrifice will afford you. Money is a great thing, but it's actually better thought of as a lever. You can use money as leverage to procure you things, experiences or convenience, but you pursue it with reason at your own peril.

To be more specific, it's good to be clear about what a better financial situation will give you - a new house? A new car? The possibility to travel? A more secure lifestyle or retirement? A rental property to produce income into the sunset? All these things are non-negligible and worthwhile as additions to your life.

BUT - money often comes at a cost: longer hours, human sacrifice, more stress, more involvement, more responsability, moving, spending less time with loved ones.

Thus, in the rush for more dollars, often emotional or lifestyle needs get neglected. The vital thing to keep in mind, then, is that managing money is a question of priorities. To cultivate the type of life you want, an unchecked persuit of more dollars doesn't necessarily equal more happiness. In thinking of money as a lever - it's easier to conceptualise what, concretely, you're working for with that pay raise.

PASSION OR CAREER - TAKE THE LIFESTYLE TEST

2009-09-02T13:00:00.000-07:00

If you're having trouble picking one of many passions to become your full-time career, read on...

OR

If you're having orientation doubts - wondering what direction to take in your career- or job-life, it's time to apply the lifestyle test. While many career counseling services encourage people to take a look at their passions or interests, rarely do orientation exercises take lifestyle concerns into account.

For example, you might enjoy doing logic puzzles or arguing, leading a career orientator to recommend lawyering as a career choice. But what if you have trouble working in an office? Don't like authority? What if you love long vacations or would like to live in a variety of different countries? What if you don't like long hours or have a passion for details?

A short conversation with most lawyers would quickly reveal that this line of work isn't your dream job. Throw yourself down this road and years of hard work might leave you dissatisfied. Long hours, details, hierarchy and an office culture are endemic to lawyering. To avoid running down costly dead-ends, here is a quick lifestyle test you can apply to determine whether your passion of the moment will lead you to a fulfilling career.

It's time to apply the "lifestyle" test to your interest areas.

Ask yourself these questions :

- How much money will you need in your future life? (What kind of house do you want? What kind of car? What kind of vacations?) When you've totalled that up, you'll have an idea of the salary you'll need to have the lifestyle you want.

- What kind of work life do you want? Do you want free time? Job security? Mobility? Do you prefer to be an employee or would you like to work free-land or as your own boss? Do you mind working long hours? Do you want long vacations? How much time will you need for your family life?
The job or career you choose should fit with these requirements also.

- Do you like to make decisions? Are you comfortable with assuming the stress of owning a business? Job security for entrepreneurs is dicey. Do you mind taking orders or having a boss?

- What kind of work environment do you want? An office? Do you like doing different things in a day? Do you like or dislike working with others?

With this information mapped out, you're ready to see whether the interests, passions and career areas you've identifed as possibilities correspond to your lifestyle desires. Afraid of making ends meet? Reconsider, then, the starving artist Rock band.
Don't want a boss? Focus, then, on avoiding a structure with constraining hierarchies. Consider entrepreneurship, consulting, or working as a a contrat worker.

If you're unsure of the money or time/lifestyle constraints various career paths put on you, talk to some people who have these careers. Pick up the phone. Talk to as many people as you can. Want to be a sound engineer? Talk to one. Or do you think you'd like to write for a living? Talk to a few writers. People are usually very receptive when you seek out their advice!

Once you have a clearer idea of what type of lifestyle you'd like - financially, time- and liberty-wise, socially and in terms of job environment, it'll be much easier to decide which path is for you.

MANAGING THE MOVE TOGETHER

2009-09-01T23:57:00.000-07:00

How to avoid homicide in moving in together...

Many couples - one party or both - share some trepidation when moving in together. Who's shoes will litter the entrance hall? Who'll do the dishes and the laundry? Who's hair will clog up the drain?
There questions are a plague, just as are issues about maintaining individual space and interests.

If you, like many, have this type of concern, but need to move through it to establish a "home", here is some advice aimed at the space-loving creatures who are afraid couple-life might stint their individuality !

As with any couple-decision like moving in together, it is important to discuss your fears with the other party before making a decision. If you're used to having your freedom and to spending time alone, let the other person know. Maybe they're in the same situation.

Either way, you need to make it clear that your success as a couple depends on enough space to live your life as you'd like it. I have encountered all sorts of couples - some are together, living in each other's laps 24 hours a day. They only see friends together, eat the same things at the same time, watch the same TV shows.

There are other couples who - for example - define certain times to be separate. If you need time to decompress after your day and you don't want someone bothering you the second you come in the door - negotiate it. I know a couple who defines that the guy needs to watch about 1/2 to 1 hour of TV when he gets home and he doesn't like being distracted with questions. With this need established, his girlfriend knows to just leave him alone.

In this way, each preserves their interests and individuality. Time at home can be spent each doing his own thing, if that's what you want.

Otherwise, another strategy can be to pick nights when each of you has activities - sports, friends, family engagements. If it's understood that you do these things separately, then each time he goes out, you get a quiet evening alone.

Living together doesn't mean you're glued to the other person. It's a question of how you manage the situation. In fact, sometimes you can actually gain more freedom this way - gaining the time you once spent ferrying between two appartments.

There is a serious adjustment period when you move in with someone during which time you develop patterns in which each of you is comfortable. It will take a few fights to define who cleans what, who listens to what music when and what volume the TV is. But this is just a phase. If you negotiate intelligently and the other party is open to your needs, you'll find a happy medium.

To resume then, you must:

1) Present your fears openly. Make sure the other person understands it's not a personal attack your relationship, but rather a worry about how to keep your individuality. Maybe they're worried too - you don't know until you talk about it.

2) Intelligently set things up so that you won't get claustrophobic. Living with someone takes adjustment - there is compromise and a bit of work at first. But you can come out of this phase with what you want - I am certain of it!

To conclude, a wise person once said to me, "In life, you don't get what you deserve. You get what you negitiate." I think this applies very well to this type of situation !

McMAFIA - The Story of How Organized Crime is Taking Over the World

2009-09-01T06:50:00.000-07:00

Misha Glenny's book is a great read. Not only is this book well written, but it gives you anecdotal and economic insight into how transnational organized crime lives and grows.

Glenny's analysis looks at organized crime in the way that others have looked, historically, at the rise of nations or governments. That is, he seeks to explain the principal actors and large-scale forces that have caused certain types of large-scale criminal organizations to crop up across the globe.

For example, Japan's Yakuza, argues Glenny, came to power because of the country's stict lending laws. The Russian mafia have risen to prominence in the wake of the old Soviet Union's collapse. Under communism, the state was sole proprietor of factories, real estate and most other "means of production". As the country underwent massive privatisation during the era of glasnost and peristroyka, the KGD's old guard slowly pillaged the state's one-time possessions. Thus, a grey group of kleptogratic oligarchs now controls swaths of the economy. And on goes the story, through Nigeria's cyper criminals and Columbia's drug lords.

Glenny's fascinating look at the world's underbelly outlines a surprising connection - between individual states' positions in the global economy, as well as domestic laws (i.e. drug-, finance- or piracy laws) - and the types of criminal organisations that arrise to fill human needs in different places. Illigitimate as vices are under certain legal systems, laws push consumption underground rather than stamping it out. One thing is clear from Misha's analysis - there are intractable links between what is illegal in a specific place and what organized crime is able to turn into billion-dollar industries.

This book isn't a small-scale, Tony Soprano look at specific forms of mafia - no. Rather, it's reach spans continents, painting a comprehensive and fascinating picture of organized crime today.

For anyone wanting to understand the grey- and black- parts of the global economy, or who is just interested in how organized crime functions, this book is a must read!

BOOK REVIEW - RICH DAD, POOR DAD

2009-08-26T02:28:00.001-07:00

If you're looking for a quick-start and easy-read that briefs you on the basics of financial ideology, this book is a great read. Authors Robert T. Kiyosaki and Sharon L. Lechter take a look at the differing ideas about money.

Kiyosaki starts his story thus: "I had two fathers, a rich one and a poor one ..." and, growing up in the shadows of these two influential men, Kiyosaki asked himself the question: what ideas about money separate the poor-, middle- and upper classes?
His book aims to communicate how you, the reader, can put yourself on the "right" side of riches by adopting an effective way of thinking about money.

Kiyosaki first identifies and demasks the "employee mentality". According to him, a middle-class view of the world involves a heavy focus on traditional education (i.e. no real focus on financial management), which culminates in a professional job and a mortgage on a principal residence. Rather than buy cash-producing assets, argues Kiyosaki, the middle classes instead buy cash-eating liabilities, that - to top it off - with after-tax dollars.
Thus, most middle class families consider their house to be their principal asset, although the property generates no revenue, eating property taxes and utilities bills all the way.

Kiyosaki's recommendation - if you want to get out of the rat race of "work" and have a chance at being rich - Make sure you invest, and that you invest in revenue generating assets !

Although the book is a little thin on the nuts and bolts of how to produce wealth, Kiyosaki does effectively and quickly outline how differing attitudes to money end up conditioning our work- and financial lives. As you read, you'll find yourself saying "Hey - yes, this is exactly how some people think..."

I'd recommend this book to all the disgruntled employees out there, as well as to anyone who is interested in getting out of the rat race !!

A WEEK BOXING WITH MYRIAM LAMARRE

2009-08-18T04:44:00.000-07:00

This week in Marseille (France), champion boxer Myriam Lamarre is running a summer boxing program just for girls over 16 years of age. Mixing true boxers with full-contact and kick-boxing women, the program includes room and board, meals, a morning physical training and an evening sparring session.

Not only do participants get to profit from Lamarre's experience, but the vibe of an all-female camp is super !
We all hope more programs like this one get off the ground.
And I promise - I'll put up some training photos later this week, just as soon as I can get my legs to function properly ;) !

Check out some of Myriam's boxing highlights...

JUST DON'T QUIT...

2009-08-11T12:41:00.000-07:00

Having a rough time?
Watch this when you first sit at your desk in the morning...
It's what I'm doing right now ;)

INSPIRATIONAL VIDEO...

2009-08-11T12:34:00.000-07:00